Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › is he losing interest or am I being paranoid
- This topic has 6 replies and was last updated 4 years, 4 months ago by
LuLu.
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Ewa
Hi,
So I have been dating this guy for about 4 months now. Unfortunately we were not able to enjoy is as much as we should because pretty much every month he had some some sort of injury that either prevent him from walking or now he has a broken finger and he has to go back to hospital every 2 weeks.
We still see each other but because he takes really strong pills , he is not able to drive and gets tired easily.so we don’t spend as much time together even though when we do go out he always pays and is very affectionate.He cancelled on me twice because he didn’t feel well, which I do understand , however I also feel like because the pills he is taking he is more tired and grumpy and not as engaging over text.
I saw him yesterday briefly as he again apologised to me for being rubbish and thanked me for being patient.
We supposed to see each other on Saturday.he also told me he feels really down because of those pills and his injuries to the point where he feels like a burden and push people away.
so the question here is, he still texts everyday and plans dates (even though I know he is in pain) but his texting habits have changed.
he still text me everyday but it just feels different.
I know he has got a lot of on his mind and is in constant pain but I am starting to panic even though I know texting really means nothing.Newbie
You are looking at this the wrong way. Your job is not to stick with him no matter what. You job is to see if he makes a good bf/partner for you. I know he cant help getting hurt in the past few months so it may all be temporary but still its his job to keep you interested if he wants to. So stop panicking and take your power back. Go do other things while he is still suffering from the injuries.
He might be not able to go on with this relationship. But if rhat is the case you know soon enough. He will keep cancelling dates or not make any plans at all. Take care, thats dating and thats why you have to put yourself firstEwa
thank you, this is why I am worried because I guess there is a lot of things happening in his life atm that he might tell me one day that this is not for him.
should I talk to him about it or just pretend there is no issue?
he told me he really likes me and keeps saying sorry for being rubbish and that is not really him. I was thinking about it and maybe this isn’t for me but I would feel bad if I left him when he’s not feeling well.
Newbie
You are not understanding what im saying. If he is not reaching out to you, he is not deserving of you. You dont give a guy time when he is cancelling. Thats the attitude but this is a bit more complicated because he has injuries. If he is pulling back there is nothing can do about it anyway.
But youre on the mark of a beginning relationship. You can talk to him about it of course. But do it from an equal position (so no questions like are you still interested etc), open questions on the next date. If he cancels again, i would assume its overEwa
I understand but like I said he isn’t cancelling because he wants to do something else, when he does cancel it’s because he either takes pills and can’t drive to me (that was the first time he cancelled) second time he cancelled because he went to hospital and been told they will need to open his finger to realign his bones, so he had local anaesthetic and left hospital about 9pm .
he takes about 6 pills a day which makes him dizzy and tired , so he instantly falls asleep.
prior to meeting me he has been single for over 5 years , same as me and we both have a lot of single life habits. I’ve also realised that for the past 4 months it’s always been him asking me out and I also had that mindset that guys should text first.
He didn’t say good morning yesterday and today but when I did message he instantly replied.Newbie
Yeah its an awkward moment i agree. What you dont want is to fuss over him so you look like a mommy but interested on his well being at the same time. Thats why i suggested you go plan some fun things for yourself. And be interested and nice when he contacts you
LuLu
You say its been 4 months? has there been any talk of exclusivity, commitment, BF GF titles? If you’re still technically single after 4 months I think that’s what you should be concerned about.
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