is he losing interest or just settling?

I also wanted to add that whenever I do something on my phone , he looks over my shoulder to check what I am doing and sometimes makes random comments about it. Not sure if this is a sign he is insecure?

I think it’s neither. What you’re seeing is who he is when he’s comfortable, and now you need to decide if that’s compatible with you in the long-term. Which is really the point of dating someone or being bf/gf official and taking your time to decide on a serious commitment (such as marriage) instead of jumping right into something like moving in together and getting engaged. Men are supposed to respect you and treat you well always, but at some point they do get to stop chasing you and you two figure out how to build your lives together (and how to resolve conflict like this together).

It’s a yellow flag that he’s dropping the effort significantly after only a three months, which I’m assuming was the end of the honeymoon period, but he still sounds present and like he engages with you a lot. The only thing you said that sounds off blaring red flag sirens at me is his reason for no longer working out. That’s very bad from a health and lifestyle perspective, if he only took care of himself for other people, to attract a mate in this case, but then doesn’t actually care to maintain it for his own health?? So I think it’s totally understandable if that gives you pause, because you don’t want to end up with a guy you need to mother if they’re not taking care of themselves. That’s still a jump from what is currently only pausing the gym, but that’s what I’d be looking out for even if he thought what he said was only a joke.

I don’t think the texting is an issue since you see each other a lot, having your first fight is normal as you need to see if you can resolve issues together. It sounds like that went okay since you ended up cuddling by the end of the night. There’s no reason to see this as he’s getting sex benefits and that’s all he wants, and I don’t think looking over your shoulder is important unless he’s checking on you in a jealous or controlling way. Sometimes I glace over my husband’s shoulder at what he’s doing on his phone because he looks focused and I think he may be reading something interesting so I’ll ask him. Zero to do with insecurity.

Ultimately, you’re still getting to know him, so don’t assume the worst. Just decide if you like him for exactly who he is without needing to change anything about him. And if something is really bothering you, speak up about your needs and see if you can resolve it together. He’s your boyfriend, that’s what people in a relationship need to be able to do together. A relationship without communication or trust won’t work itself out. If speaking up scares him off even though you’re already past the casual dating phase, then good riddance anyway.

You seem to be focusing on what he’s not doing, which is a sign he isn’t meeting your expectations of what you want or need in a long-term partner.

Its natural to progress from the high intense romantic feelings (aka “the chase”) to safety and security (aka “relationship”) which is when a couple has moved beyond the infatuation stage and into a deeper stage of love. True love is CALM. Its when you both feel safe to be yourselves without judgement because you have fully accepted each other, as you are, flaws and all.

It doesn’t sound like you know how to segue from infatuation to a securer relationship based on how you believe a man should act? You can’t expect a man to wooo you or remain in the infatuation stage (“the chase”) forever, because that’s not realistic long-term. When you start focusing moreso on their flaws v. their good parts its a sign he’s “not the one” and need to ask yourself “is this the man I can truly see myself settling down with?” based on what you see in him now. If not, then you answered your own question.