Is he really interested?

I don’t have any advice per se but all I can say is you have played it brilliantly up till now. Well done

This could go either way imo. He’s putting SOME effort in now…but only because you shamed/forced him into it I think.time will tell whether he changes his tune and keeps this up. You HAVE played it brilliantly. I would continue to do so….or gaps be a Bit warmer and receptive. I would put him on probation and monitor his behaviour for a month.its only been 1 month. ..far too early to have him committed to you. Relax a bit too. If I wee you I’d date others and not rely on him so much. Guys do not want to get tied down after only 5 weeks.

Thank you ladies for the insight. I appreciate all of you very much. I agree with Harley to put him in probation and to see if he keeps up. Meanwhile, I do have my options open and if all fails, I will be good to move on. We’ll see. Will keep you updated so that others can also take something away from this experience. Thanks.

UPDATE:
So he came by, picked me up and we went out, got dinner. Then he bought drinks and we retreated over to my place near by. He is working the next day early so we were just up to chatting, a little tv, and he was very touchy. He kissed me on my lips, on my forehead when I am near him, and just hugs me. He then says: I like you a lot. He asks me: Do you like me and why? I said: I do like you and it is this thing I feel that I just don’t feel with anyone. So yes, I like you. He then kisses me on the forehead and on the lips. I said: Hey, listen, if anything at all, at the end of all of this, I know I made a good friend. He then says: I don’t know but the more time I spend with you the more and more I like you. Then we continued to watch a comedy, laughed and chit chatted a bit. He then had to get ready to go as he explained his day the next day. He kissed me goodnight and off he went.

I am feeling relaxed about this so far and don’t want to rush him into anything. In the end, I would just rather we go with the flow.

Just thought to let you all know how things have progressed thus far. :-)

Gigi Rose, Yams and Sass – I BLEW IT!

LAgirl and Harley: You are both correct in that once he realized I liked him (even though I said so because he asked me), he has now sort of distanced himself. After that evening, I text him to see if he made it home safe. He replied: Yes. Goodnight darling (never called me darling before). I said: Good. Goodnight dear. Next morning, I text him to say: Good morning. Stay positive. He replied: Good morning (my first name). Have a great day.

Usually, at the end of his day, he will text/call me which he did not do yesterday. I too, did not text or call him. I am also not texting him a good morning text today. I am sort of done with this. I only want a guy who wants me in his world as much as I want him in mine. He has not opened up to me yet or told me anything personal to him for me to feel we are building a companionship. I have let him a bit in mine to see if he would do the same to no avail.

All I ask for now, is advise on how to let him know that I am keeping my options open without hurting him or making him feel I am doing so because I am not getting attention from him? Point is, I am doing this because my deep feeling is, I am merely a choice to him, to enjoy time with when he doesn’t have another. Can you share thoughts of how you have informed such person gently of how you will be moving right along and in the meantime, we can just remain friends (no benefits)? Please advise. Thank you all for responding.

Bewildered,

I don’t think you need to have a conversation with him to “let him know” anything. Book dates with other men, keep your schedule busy, do not be readily available. You can slowly disengage. Men do it to us all the time! No big deal.

If you start doing the “slow fade” he could totally step up and realize he wants you in his life. Or, he could continue making only enough of an effort to get you back into bed/have you admit feelings for him. My advice would be not to sleep with him or discuss your feelings again while you’re pulling back a bit. This will give you the chance to see what his real interest level is.

You seem less Bewildered than Bad*ss in this situation. I, for one, am inspired! :)

Honestly my opinion is yes there is a period of dating and getting to know someone before you commit but it shouldn’t be this hard. By that I mean the games, the ignoring you then the ‘oh actually I like you’. The daft pointless texts to keep you hanging and to see if you’ll respond to stroke their ego. Then when you disclose some feelings the massive pull back. Decent men don’t mess about like this. Yes they might date others at the start (although that seems to be more an american rather than UK thing) but they should be respectful and not put you in positions where you feel like this. Sorry if I sound harsh but really dating should be fun not an emotional chore. I would move on.

Thank you ladies for the sound advices you have provided on here. Harley – I am sorry for bewildering you in my dilemma. The only reason the one day no contact from him is strange is because it is NOT the norm between us. He has managed to make sure we are in touch daily, especially by the end of each day. This is the one time this has not happened and I was blaming myself for letting him know I liked him when he asked. I should have been a bit smarter about my response. Hence, the reason I said I BLEW IT. I am taking you advises seriously and will just sit back and see what takes from hereon out. And I am definitely not initiating any contact. I am the PRIZE and will remain so. :-) Thanks again. You are all very wonderful and real.

Hello ladies and looks like I am sorta on point about my feelings. Last contact has been Wednesday (text in the am in response to mine) and nothing thereafter. I have not texted either and hoping now that he just fades away. Why? Because I am already feeling awkward should he try to contact me. Won’t know what to say. He is still active on the dating site and so am I. So why bother? It’s simple: If he liked me enough, he will go out of his way to make contact. If he is so so on the fence, then it won’t really bother him much that i have not contacted him either. Sounds like so far, we are on even grounds. Just thought to keep everyone on the loop. As always, thank for any input and advise. Hope you are having a marvelous weekend.

Just checking to see if I am doing right so far…

So as advised, I completely left this guy alone from whom I did not hear from (text/call) since my good morning text to him Wednesday. So I am going about my business and on Saturday night, as I was getting ready to out with friends and a guy who I dated sometime back, he texts me to ask if my son’s car has been fixed. I don’t respond. When I returned from my outing Saturday, 12:45 AM, I sent him a response to say: Hey, just getting in from watching the game with friends and no, won’t receive the car back until next week. I went to sleep. Sunday, I and the guy I dated sometime back wanted us to go out to the mountains and spend the day. He said he will pick me up at 9:30 AM. He did and it was a great day. I return around 6:30 PM and here he is again, with a text simply my first name. I said Yes (his first name). He asked how my day was today. Did I do anything. I responded letting him know I had a great day at the mountains, enjoyed the festival they had. He says: Ohhh..sounds like that was fun. I confirm saying: Yeah, it was. He asks: Did they have beer? I said: Absolutely, all kinds. This was the end of our texting as of last night. He said nothing more nor did I.

I am merely trying to learn from this experience and asking you knowledgeable ladies or gents (if any) to contribute to my quest for knowledge. What do you think he is thinking at this point? What message or vibes could I have possibly sent out? Please note that I am no longer caught up with this guy but really trying to learn from this experience. So anything you tell me will be taken with an open heart.

Thank you all. I look forward to hearing from you.

I agree with Ali.

What is the point of wondering or mind reading.

Look up the term e tethering. That’s likely what he is doing. Keeping in touch just enough to stay in touch but not putting any effort into actually having a relationship with you.