Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › Is he shy or just not interested?
- This topic has 3 replies and was last updated 3 years, 7 months ago by
Lane.
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chris
I met a guy at the stadium. He was running and so did I so I asked him if he knew any running team and he suggested we could run together. Needless to say that I was attracted to him from day 1 and that’s why I asked about the team -to initiate conversation. He gave me his Facebook and told me to text him when I would be available for a run. The next day I went to the stadium without texting him -I didn’t want to pressure him or anything and later at night he messaged me telling me again that I should text him whenever I went there. And so I did. Two days after we had our first run together. We spoke casually and we learnt a lot about each other’s lives. It was fun. However, I’m not sure yet if he acts friendly or something more. I don’t want to be needy so I haven’t spoken to him after our run. I’m not sure if he’s just looking for a running buddy or more. I know we’ve just had a run but I’m not sure how to proceed. Shall I text him again when I go running? Should I wait a few more days before jumping to conclusions? My biggest fear is that I don’t want to appear needy.
Maddie
Aw, this sounds nice so far! You’re just getting to know him at all, let it happen organically. Give it a few days, let him know when you’re running again, enjoy learning about him. Don’t jump to conclusions in general or try to plan out all the right “moves”. If he’s interested in more than friendship and he’s available for it, he should naturally start escalating hanging out (like eventually asking to see you outside of a run). But it’s okay if it takes a few runs before that happens. If it’s still dragging out and unclear after that it’s not a good sign and he may just want an activity buddy, but for now lean back, don’t worry, get to know him, and if you want to shift some of the initiative back on him you can tell him after your next run that he should message you when he’s there, too. That should give him enough of a push to know you’re interested in seeing him more without being needy.
Zoe
He should text not you
Lane
Agree with Maddie in that you really shouldn’t push the romantic so early. Just get to know him, like you do with any stranger you’ve met, male and female, and allow it to unfold naturally. You don’t know him, he doesn’t know you but who knows, you might start growing on him, and he’ll think, wow she’s really cool.
Always best to let the man lead in the romantic dept., because if he thinks you have a hidden agenda, such as trying to move it towards ‘dating’ he’ll eventually catch on, then start avoiding you if he doesn’t like you that way. Best thing to do is just be yourself; continue to date other guys, hangout with friends; work, etc. If its meant to be, it will be, if not you still get to live your awesome life :o)
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