Is he telling the truth or blowing me off

It pains me when a woman does not get any hints, but I cringe when a guy is blowing her off so obviously and she still doesn’t get it.

Dear Pam,
I am sorry that you are going through this. I don’t think he is that sick that he could not response to your messages. At four months and you both are still on the dating site, I don’t think it will get serious.
Go out and date others. To me, he is kinda rude, a decent guy should have a clear communication about what is going on, Not using the lame excuses.
Drop him, don’t contact him, he shows no respect to you.
Good luck.

We say it all the time…and it’s a truth women need to learn: ” a man who is into you will find a million reasons to see and talk to you. A man who isn’t has a million excuses of why he can’t/won’t”.

No one is ever that busy for what they really want. Watch men who have hobbies or sports they love. They make time.. Just like they make time for a woman they really like. If a guy is THAT busy, there is something else going on and none of it matters, because he isn’t making any effort towards you.

I’ve dated lots of busy guys. My ex owned his own company, was a single dad, took care of his Mom, and had a house to keep up. I never had to beg for his time, or even wonder. Because he made he one of his top priorities. Yes his family and business were also top priorities, but I was as well.

Any guy that has ever been serious about me, also made this kind of effort. If you set your standards low you will find plenty of guys willing to meet the “low” bar. Where you meet the worthwhile guys is when you raise the bar and have high yet reasonable standards for what you will tolerate, how you treat others, and how you expect (and require) people to treat you. We get the treatment we allow.

If you are getting low or no effort, it’s because you are accepting it.

Meemee, you’ve been here long enough to know my story.

HE had issues setting proper boundaries with his lunatic ex-wife , which was bringing toxicity into my life and my sons. I’ve explained many times that my son’s dad is a DIAGNOSED narcissistic sociopath, among other things. He put my son and I through HELL of a kind I don’t wish on anyone, and it took me years to heal and gather the strength I have now. I PROMISED myself after that relationship I would never allow another toxic situation like that in my life. EVER. My ex BFs ex wife is the female version of my son’s Dad. That is not ok with me.

It took a long time to learn to forgive, accept my role in things with the father of my son, learn from my mistakes, and get in a healthy head space and be open to loving someone again. It was the MOST painful thing I’ve ever done, breaking up with him. Eleven months later and it still hurts.

But I knew that for my well being, mental and emotional stability, and that of my son’s, that I could not stay with a man (even one I loved with all my heart) who thought that trying to appease a lunatic would somehow make it all okay and stop the crazy. It only made it worse. He’s a wonderful man with good intentions, but she threatens suicide or some other nonsense when she gets worked up, and he worries aboutthis kids and backs down ..evreryone in her family is afraid of her and backs down as well, which is why the nonsense will never stop. So I gathered up every ounce of courage I had and did the only thing I could do. And I HATED doing it.

It’s called being an adult and learning that we sometimes have to do something difficult for everyone’s sake.

I still love him and he still loves me. But love does NOT conquer all. That is a childs fairy tale and this is real life. So I hope your happy being smug at someone else’s pain.

I’ve tried many times to give you advice..to HELP you, but you’ve said I’m harsh and were offended by it. Well, at least I had good intentions. You’re just being snarky and mean. I hope you feel good right now.

Yes, we all know Philly’s story. Don’t know how you are ever going to heal from all of this trauma when you keep repeating it here over and over on a regular basis… 11 months now. I’m sorry for you that you’re still here trying to work it out all the time. We give the same advice to Mike, maybe the common denominator is you if you keep finding yourself surrounded by crazies like this. Have you sought help off the site? Maybe you should. Not sure why you are here giving advice all the time to others if you are not dating or in a relationship 11 months later. Sorry if that’s harsh but as you often say sometime you have to give some tough love.

Marie, I am not here crying about it.. The only reason I share that story is in the hope it may help someone struggling in a situation that is not in their best interest. To show you can care and still be strong.

My past doesn’t define me, although it shaped me. I am always open to growth and learning, and I am not in a relationship right now becasue I choose not to be at the moment. That certainly doesn’t disqualify me from giving advice, as Eric himself has mentioned he’s been perma-single for some time.

Too many women dont spend the needed time to heal and grow and learn before jumping into something new. I have never been the type to “need” a man to be happy. I have a full life without that, it’s just a bonus. I never said I wasn’t dating, and I think my experiences uniquely qualify me for a point of view that some may find value in.

And you’re tough love? You’re obvious disdain disqualifies that. You’re comments weren’t helpful but were unecessary.

The other Marie here (the french one).

OP I think he is blowing you off… I would wish him to get well soon and wish him the best in life. Just to make sure the case is closed.