Is he waiting to hear from me or losing interest?

Never give away how much you like a guy this early on. He was fishing to see how interested you are and you ate the bait by texting him.

Once a man gets a whiff that you are into him… And more than he is for you… He will pull back and settle in. Not a good position for you to be in because now you don’t pose a challenge.

Stop initiating texts and don’t be so available. Make him work for you.

Thanks for the feedback!

It sucks that even when we are adults, we can’t just have honest and open communication.

I guess I had a bit of hope since he made it pretty clear he wants to see me the day after he gets back.

The “fishing” comment is a good point though. Wish I had thought of that before I replied.

It seems somewhat ambiguous if you have plans or not. It sounds like yes.

Have you already stayed over before? if so, why would you not stay over?

If you are feeling uncomfortable, simply agree to go over, but warn him you can’t stay because you have XYZ thing that you are doing the next day… But only if you have already stayed over.

Something like: So excited to see you too! I should warn you, can’t stay over :-(. Early tennis game. See ya at 8!

For future reference, please refrain from playing the type of games suggested above, as guys already have enough work to do and things to deal with when it comes to trying to get everything from texting or talking or timing things, being able to read subtle hints and messages and diligently choosing their words correctly, etc. and get things right with women they’re interested in to keep them attracted. If you’re interested, just be straight forward and clear and let him know. If you want to call / text him, just do it. Please don’t mess up what could be a good thing by playing any extra unnecessary games (unless, of course, this is the type of relationship dynamic you’re looking for).

As for me, since I know as a man that I must avoid anything that could be labeled as needy, creepy, stalkerish, thirsty, awkward, nice guy, etc. and whatever other labels exist out there, I cannot always be as straight forward, honest, and share / reveal everything I want (unless I’m getting a clear sign that it’s ok to do so) if I don’t want to risk losing the chance for the woman to want to continue taking time to get to know me. It simply just does not work that way for men. Therefore, the least a woman can do is let her interest be clearly known so the man can know if and how much he should openly pursue.

Normally, if a woman starts trying to play hard to get or doing anything that could be misconstrued as lack of interest or unsureness, I keep my options open / reopen my options and start giving myself to the one who is actually being open, showing me interest, and giving me a clear sign that I can also be open and honest about my feelings towards them. I no longer do that “nice guy” thing where I chase or start chasing when a woman pulls away because I know based on real life experience what the consequences of doing so are.

So, with that being said, please, just be straightforward and honest and allow the guy to clearly know where you stand at all times so he can feel comfortable with knowing how genuine of a bond there is and how much he is allowed to reciprocate his feelings. Focus on enjoying each other rather than the distraction of strategically gaming and record keeping. Don’t play the hold back game because it does not work with everyone (as some of us will move on to someone else if that someone else is being more open, approachable, understandable, clear and likeable/loveable). Also, be accepting of his feelings towards you and don’t reject him or limit him to just being friends or an emotional therapist because he is or comes across as a good guy.

Lastly, anyone who has a problem with guys taking advantage of them after revealing their feelings “too soon” and thinks the game playing is the best way to keep a man interested is seeking or accepting the wrong type of men. There are plenty of us who want something real, straight forward, genuine and honest. Once the holding back games or any type of ambiguous game playing begins, the entire dynamic of how great the relationship could be is messed up because now people are being forced to hold back and play with the fear of being rejected if they keep things real.

Just be natural and real. If he wants to play or stray just because he feels like he got you, then you quickly have your answer to what type of guy he is because men who are serious are usually straight forward and clear with what they want (especially when they feel that they are dealing with someone they can be open with).

Alycia, if you think he is going to make plans to go back to his place, suggest another place to go to. I agree with Konnect, I thought I was playing it cool once not initiating contact and letting the guy come to me and plan dates. Things between this guy and I ended for different reasons but he did tell me once that he thought I wasn’t that interested because I never contacted him. Def show this guy you are interested in a suttle way but also keep in mind like you said yourself he is five months out of a relationship he might not be ready for something serious and it is too soon to bring it up so at this point enjoy the company just be careful.