Is it a good idea to contact him?

I am going to be harsh here so you get it…

You ask for a break and then want him to contact you? Grow up! That is close to a fake breakup trying to get him to fight for you.

It is 500% your responsibility to end the break and to make it up to him that you had a break to begin with. Starting with being grateful that he did not turn your break into a breakup. That could have been on the table but you should thank your lucky stars that is not what happened.

If he were my friend, I would have told him to end it with you. That healthy people in relationships deal with problems together and do not go to breaks unless there is a darn good reason and weird headspace is not one of them. That does not mean talking every minute, but saying…. hey, I am struggling… let’s talk next week.

And if you ever pulled this again, I would fully be unsupportive if you as a partner who is capable of being in a healthy relationship.

Why is this on him to do all the “heavy work” when it was you who asked for the break? He has been respecting your space, so its on YOU to take the all steps back towards reconciliation if that’s what you want to do. Its your job, not his, to *un-break* it, so to speak.

At a minimum, its on you to explain to him *why* you needed the break and how its helped you to “open your eyes” (whatever that meas) to x, y, and/or z. Was he the reason for the break; a slew of external pressures such as, the Covid quarantine, family, work, or loss of job; or you just needed some *me time* (time to yourself) to re-balance your life?

Listen, I get we all need breaks/time outs from time-to-time, as life can get hard or overwhelming at times and you need some time to yourself to re-evaluate, re-balance, unwind, or get back to a better “headspace” so you’re able to tackle the hardships of life again. That’s fine as long as you go into them with an authentic reason; properly explain it to your partner, and make good use of that time when you take it. However, in the future I wouldn’t use the word “break” but a softer term such as *mini vacation* or *taking some me time* so they don’t internalize it or constantly worry that you’re not coming back, because it breaks the trust, and without trust, you’re relationship could very well never recover from it.

I remember we were stationed in England with two small children at a time my (now ec) husband was being deployed often, for weeks and months at a time, to conflict zones (Bosnia, Africa, etc.). After a year of him being gone a lot, I needed a friggen break! He couldn’t understand why I didn’t want to bring him or our two boys with me on *my solo vacation* (back home) but the truth is, that’s who I needed a darn break from! I was with the kids every single day, and taking care of everything by myself (no outside support) while he was away,to the point I was tired, exhausted, drained and needed some gosh darn *me time!*

There is noting wrong with taking *me breaks* to recharge your batteries, or tackle some personal problems from time-to-time as long as you’re doing it for the right reasons. If your partner can’t understand it, and doesn’t give you that time off, or support you when you need those me breaks, then he won’t be an understanding or supportive partner. My only regret is not taking more *me breaks* during my 20+ year marriage. IF I had a supportive husband, I would have been able to, without him making me feel bad, or trying to guilt trip me when I did, because HE truly didn’t like dealing with the kids, and running all the household operations by himself—that was ‘too hard’ for him to handle, and preferred that I handle it all. Don’t be with *that guy* or you will become resentful, and miserable, down the road.