Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Is it inconsiderate or am I over exaggerating???
- This topic has 8 replies and was last updated 5 years, 2 months ago by
Anderson.
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Anon
So my boyfriend flew in tonight. He and I are in a distance relationship which will be ending soon. Thank goodness. His flight was supposed to get in at 11pm but was delayed and not due to arrive until 1am. I mentioned I didn’t feel safe driving out at that time. I suggested getting him an Uber to bring him to my place. He was a bit ticked because he can’t relate to this…I decided to just pick him up despite discomfort. Am I being a drama queen? Or should I take a chill pill and learn to be more brave?
Dyanne
You decided to pick him up despite not feeling safe because he was ticked. Is it the norm for you to do things that you’re uncomfortable with in order to not upset him? If so, maybe you should work on setting better boundaries and standing up for yourself.
Regarding your question, you made the choice, he didn’t force you. So I would let it go and next time do what feels right for YOU. What I would have done is tell him something like “sorry hun, but I really don’t feel safe driving at this hour so I am sending you the Uber. I’ll make it up to you when you get home ;)” and send him a sexy pic. All he would think about would be how to get home faster. Lol!
In my book, a man worth dating is able to see things from my perspective, even if he can’t relate. Being angry on such a small thing would be at least a yellow flag regarding his conflict resolution and communication skills.
Warasen
I don’t know your circumstances (why you feel unsafe driving at night) but you must have reasons which your boyfriend might not know. I wouldn’t want my wife to come out if she get threatened. My loved one’s safety is my primary concern.
tammy
if you feel unsafe and not entirely comfortable driving at 1 am, that’s perfectly understandable. not sure why he got irritated. I agree with the posters. next time don’t do things when your not entirely comfortable or convinced. this involves your safety. so you need to go with what feels safe for you.
Anderson
I don’t know how well you two communicated with each other. This is not about who is right or wrong but moreso how the situation was handled and talked about.
For example, you may have a legit fear of going out at that hour or may live in a sketchy neighbourhood or something. But perhaps the way you communicated this discomfort came off as an excuse/laziness. Or worse, lack of excitement to see him.
And who knows what really got him irritated. Some people are cranky travelers, others are wildly allergic to not being picked up by someone they know coughmysistercough, maybe he really was looking forward to seeing you at the airport and the irritation was an indirect way of expressing that
I have a habit of prioritizing the safety and comfort of any women around me. Coworkers, friends, acquaintances etc. Heck, even fellow males sometimes. But if this was an irrational fear, and something that didnt bring about a surge of stress and anxiety, then yes you should be brave and go pick him up. Cheer up and have fun! :-)
Peggy
I don’t get why 1 o’clock is much different than 11. If it was supposed to be 8 o’clock and then it was to be 3 in the morning,that would be different. But I also think he would have been considerate to take a cab.
Discuss it and ask why he was upset. Just talk it out.anon
“Hey, I’m sorry about the tension about the airport. I’m worried about breaking down or something at 1am and figured it was just as easy for you to grab an Uber. I really apologize for that- I know Ubers can be sketchy.”
This was no ones “fault”.
Moody boyfriend
I’d be ticked off too because you weren’t excited as i was about finally closing the gap and would probably be reconsidering the relationship, questioning if more annoying little things like this are going to happen often then add up until I couldn’t stand you anymore and wind up breaking up with you.
Anderson
“Hey, I’m sorry about the tension about the airport. I’m worried about breaking down or something at 1am and figured it was just as easy for you to grab an Uber. I really apologize for that- I know Ubers can be sketchy.”
To hell with the Uber! This is the first day of potentially the rest of our life together and you won’t come get me. I… I can’t live with that. No. This is not how I imagined it. This is not how I want it. I understand your fear of the night, and I won’t force you to drive at that hour. Get your sleep. Because I’m staying put until you come get me. Yes. I want it to be you or no one else. I don’t care if it takes you 8am until you can make it. We waited what felt like ages to be together. A few more hours is nothing. I will wait.
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