Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Is it okay if bf doesn't text for a day or two?
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Boog.
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Aina
My bf is a very caring man and shows me all the love by actions. He always initiates.
This weekend however is a festival in his city. We had a Skype yesterday before he went to his festival (I’m out of the country for a couple of weeks). The festival ends tomorrow and obviously he is with his friends having lots of fun.
He doesn’t text me though, most probably only after the festival.
Does it mean he is losing interest and might have found a girl? Or do guys usually text also when they are out drinking with friends ?MsAqua
Gosh, he’s just out having fun/busy. When I’m out, I hardly look at my phone. Relax. Hell, give him an extra day to recuperate from the weekend antics before expecting to hear from him and focus on what you’re doing while YOU are away! ;)
ChicagoGirl61
How long have you 2 been dating? Has he ever in the past went this long without texting? I don’t think it is a big deal if you just started dating to go 1-3 days.
Aina
We are together for 8 months.
He usually writes every day.Sensy
Have confidence and assume he knows he has a good thing. Anything that happens is beyond your control so let go of that and all insecurities.
Rose
Maybe he’s having such a great time he hasn’t had the time…
A day or two without texting means nothing.
If it was a week then I’d start worrying a little… Two weeks and I’d probably ask what’s going on.
Mistral
OMG you’re the girlfriend from HELL. Slack up on your clinginess and joined-at-hip-itis or you will be alone and miserable for the rest of your life.
Learn how to live your own life and find things to do that doesn’t involve this man in one bit.
Learn to find out who you really are before you become an old and bitter miserable biddy!
Shabz
Mistral calm yourself down no one is winding up anything over one query or wobble jeez.
Aina
Sorry If it sounded too clingy lol I don’t text him or anything , was just wondering. Before him I’ve been like 4 years without dating and I forgot a bit how serious relationships look like, and then reading so much about guys fading or disappearing it made me wonder :)
Gemini615
This post reeks of insecurity. Your bf is at a festival with friends having FUN and you’re asking is he’s met someone else or lost interest because you haven’t heard from him in a couple days? I can’t imagine the thoughts that consume you if this is how you act when he’s not around.
If you are living a full, exciting life you shouldn’t blink an eye at him going off and having fun for a couple days. You are in another country, which should keep you preoccupied enough to enjoy your own time away from him while he’s doing his thing. Personally, I can go 2-3 days without talking to my S/O and it’s not problem. It makes it that much better when we do see each other because we have a couple days of events and news to catch up on.
For your own sanity, you need to really work on your insecurities and keep yourself preoccupied with something else. You should never be so dependent on a man that a couple days of silence sends you into a tizzy and you’re making ridiculous assumptions. And if you keep this up, your insecurities with ruin your relationship. Men do not have much tolerance for women that create drama in their own heads for nothing.
Mistral
Shabz,
The time for political correctness to pander to the insecure is over. It’s time to get real.
Remember, when you point one finger at someone else, (me in this case) you are pointing THREE MORE BACK AT YOUR OWN SELF!
Mistral
Aina,
Listen to Gemini…she is offering you some very sound advice.
Aina
Thank you all a lot…I guess it just sounded stupid.
redcurleysue
You are not sounding stupid. Since this does not happen everyday you do not have a way to evaluate it.
I think that a couple/few days of breaks are good for everyone…but that is just me.
Don’t worry since worry does absolutely nothing – assume the best instead of the worst.
Mistral
Aina,
Best resource I can suggest is to take the quizzes that Eric and Sabrina provide on the forum. Just look up on top and go through the list of quizzes. After you take the quiz, look at the articles they are suggesting you read. Read them. They are tailored to help you in situations very similar to what your results on the quiz were.
T from NY
I think it’s important to point out that giving amazing sound advice can be difficult to hear if you make people feel dumb or call them insecure for writing into a dating forum!!! There was absolutely no call for that… If a person is insecure being rude does not help their insecurities.
Aina, what’s already been said is excellent wisdom to take in: Always assume the best and live a happy life whenever you are with or without your boyfriend. Because no matters what he chooses 1) is out of your control 2) it does not determine your worth anyway and 3) worrying or fretting won’t change it.
Best to you ;)
Pamella
Aina, I am sure he has not forgotten about you, probably just doing his thing, and having fun. It’s actually a good thing to do things separately from each other from time to time.
@Mistral
Last time I checked this was a relationship forum, where people can come and post questions about relationships. We all know on this forum you are very eager to give advice, however you are not a relationship expert, and there is no need for name calling, or demeaning comments.
Don’t be so eager to show how much you know, rather show that you care.
Lola
Mistral, you do give good advice, but being kind and polite is not being “politically correct”. You were unnecessarily rude.
Aina, I don’t think two days is a huge deal, but watch to see if it becomes a pattern. If you’re in a relationship, I don’t see anything wrong with you texting him “goodnight, hope you had a great time”CiCi
Hi Aina,
So have you heard from him yet?
Mistral
To Lola and others who agree with her…
I didn’t give YOU that advice and so therefore, you are free to think whatever you like about me. You aren’t important to this conversation or thread. ONLY THE OP AINA IS!!!
Aina
Well no, I haven’t heard from him yet but today is the latest and biggest day of the Festival, so I assume I won’t hear anything today either…
Aina
He wrote me in a short and cold manner…I hope it’s because he’s hangover/busy/tired or something :(
Summer
Hey Aina, you are not alone, so funny this guy I am seeing went to a festival on Saturday too, and I still haven’t hear a thing from him since… I was guessing the same that maybe he met some other girl at the festival since we are not exclusive. But heyyyy you need to go out and have your own fun instead of wondering what happened, if its meant to be then it will be ….
Boog
I think one thing we all have to consider when reading these posts is that we don’t know the full story behind the question. A person in a secure and happy relationship might be able to be out of contact with their significant other for a few days without getting worried; but maybe OP has a gut feeling or insecurities because of other issues in the relationship. Maybe the fact that her BF was out of contact actually DOES indicate that there is something going on other than him just having fun.
Sometimes people are accused of being clingy/needy/insecure in a relationship because they ARE insecure in the relationship. Insecurity in a relationship doesn’t necessarily mean that the person is an insecure wreck–sometimes it just means that the relationship is unhealthy, not fulfilling, etc.
Let’s all remember that there are a lot of details involved that we don’t get when we read these posts. Nothing is black and white.
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