Is it time to break up

I would also like to add he takes me for granted. Sometimes I try to think it’s because my love language is acts of service and his isnt ? Well I cook dinner every night , do the groceries , clean the house , fold his clothes , wash his clothes , walk the dog . When he gets back from work he gets to relax , be fed , not clean up after . And play on his phone . He does help sometimes and will vacuum and do washing or clean kitchen – he does it well but only about 10% compared to me . I do ask him to help and he will do it when asked . He gets annoyed at me if there is not much food in the cupboard . And we’ve had so many arguments because I will respond that I’m not his mother and he can make himself his own food sometimes . He doesn’t mean any harm . I think he was brought up getting his own way all the time . He’s siblings joke that his mum did everything for him as he is the youngest , and I can see it now in his actions.

Yeah , you are right .
I have been asking myself the same question . I’m not really getting anything out of the relationship except for being with a good person who I can trust and who I’m attracted to . What is a relationship supposed to be like after 6 years ? I actually don’t know . I’m struggling to answer that question, but when things are good he makes me happy by just being with him .

First of all, stop trying to have a baby with him. Bad idea for a lot of reasons.

You’re allowing him to under function by over functioning. He is not acting like a man, he’s acting like a boy and in six years he isn’t growing up and stepping up to the plate for himself or for you.

The way you ask the question says all – you KNOW it’s time to end this relationship. Permission granted.

Either one of you can buy out the other’s share or you can put the house up for sale and split the proceeds 50/50. Talk with a lawyer.

If it’s at all possible to leave once you tell him the relationship is over that would be ideal. Even if it’s for a little while. There needs to be some space.

How do you think he will take it when you tell him you want to end things? Will he get angry? Will he promise to change? Or do you think he might be OK with it?

This is not going to be easy, I’m sorry to say. But if you don’t take control of your life, you will be out of time to have children and will have lost a lot of time you can never get back.

Love is great, but it isn’t enough to sustain a long term relationship if you don’t have common values and goals.

It sounds like you both know it needs to happen, if you’re arguing and threatening to break up constantly. I’m sorry, it sucks!

At least you figured it out now while you’re still young and have time to meet someone else to have children. I have a friend that stayed in bad relationships too long, is in her late 40s now, and just married a guy she’s crazy about. But it’s too late for her to have kids now. She regrets it.

Don’t think of the time you spent as wasted– look at it as a learning experience. In your next relationship you’ll know what you don’t want. And you won’t stay with the wrong guy just because he’s nice and fun.

I want to echo what the others have said. Do not have kids with this man. I think he’s not having sex with you in part to avoid that outcome, which in this case is really doing you a favor.

I also want to reiterate what Liz said, which is do not consider this wasted time. It will take time to mourn and get over the relationship for sure, but when you’re ready for your next steps and future dating, you will know what you want, what works for you, what doesn’t, and you can develop better conflict resolution skills (after experiencing what didn’t work in this relationship). This will not only allow you to find a better match, but will allow you to show up as a better partner too. Better partner doesn’t mean overfunctioning and doing everything for the other person, it means striking a healthy balance, not settling for less than you deserve, and taking care of yourself so you can show up better for others. Putting your own airplane oxygen mask on first so you’re available to help others, so to speak. This may involve getting more comfortable with a partner who naturally shows up for you, too, instead of feeling like you need to do everything.

My husband and I have a really good relationship so far in no small part due to all we learned from our past relationships that didn’t work (and I had many, many crappy ones before I met him!). I stayed in some way too long and that does put more stress on family planning, but I have no regrets about it all putting me on the path to end up with the right person instead of having kids with the wrong one.

Change is hard, especially after 6 years, but people tend to grow a lot between their mid 20s and their 30s, and you both did not grow together. That is okay, you don’t have to feel bad for knowing what you want, telling him, and then deciding the relationship didn’t work after giving it plenty of time and opportunity to be different. He will probably be upset about a breakup, because of course he cares about you, but stay strong by keeping in mind that you do everything for him and a breakup means he needs to either start doing things for himself and face himself and whatever indecision or even depression he might have, or he has to find another woman to do everything for him. Either of those requires effort, so it is certainly easier for him to not want any change in his life. It is very mature of you to recognize that love isn’t always enough if the compatibility is not there too, so I think you’ll get through this okay and find yourself in a much better place in the future.

I just feel like he wants you to break up with him, men sometimes do that, because they are not brave enough so they will put you in a position where you have no other choice.
Him telling you he is not sexually attracted anymore is very telling, this is not going to change no matter how much you try.
when it comes to sorting out financial issues, one of you can move out for the time being, while you both decide what to do with the house. It won’t be easy for you, but it looks like he couldn’t really care less, so he won’t fight for this relationship. Be prepared for that.