Is it too late to reconcile?

Lane made some excellent points.

To answer your question, whether it’s too late to reconcile– the question isn’t whether it’s too late. Six months isn’t that long. The question is whether he wants to reconcile, and it doesn’t appear he wants to.

When you sent him that heartfelt message about missing him and wanting to see him, he replied asking how your holiday was (I assume he didn’t say “I miss you too”, or you would have mentioned it?) Then he went away on holiday, didn’t contact you, and has been ignoring your heartfelt messages since he’s returned, including on Valentine’s Day.

If he were interested in reconciling with you, he would have at least met you for a drink, or acknowledged your messages. He certainly wouldn’t be ignoring you. The fact that he hasn’t blocked your number or deleted you from social media is meaningless. The fact that he knows what you want and is totally ignoring you is what matters. I know this isn’t what you want to hear but you can’t convince someone to try again who doesn’t want to.

We met on hindge. He had gotten out of year and a half long relationship four months prior to downloading the app and met me shortly after downloading. I was on the app because my friends insisted on me putting myself out there after not having a boyfriend since my senior year of highschool, i’m a junior in college now. I didn’t like dating much so i just followed “the steps” my friends guided me on- snapchat them, ask for a date, get to know them, find a connection possibly and worst case get a free meal on the date. I had gone on a dozen other dates and no connection, i began feeling like a robot on these dates until i met him.

I was the first and only girl he had gone on a date with through the app, he was 5 years older then me, successful, has similar interests, goals, sense of humor, I adored him. But my walls were up and expectations low. He spent the next 3-4 months promising me he wouldn’t hurt me that he’d care so much about me, how he adored me and how i was nearly perfect. He never imagined dating again and Hindge was more of a confidence boost but since he met me his mind was changed and we were exclusive. The first red flag was when I found out he had added new pictures to his hindge account a month after we were officially exclusive- i was hurt at first- but he swore it was a mindless act and he didn’t even realize he had done it. At first i was insulted he’d think I believed him, but i had had lousy ex’s in the past and could have been bringing those past feelings into him. He said if i were him he would’ve left bc it looked bad but he still said he was innocent. I continued to try to work on my trust issues and i was happy. I was just now waiting for things to be offical.

Until one day hanging out I brought up that I had a conversation with this older guy( I met when I worked at a restaurant once, he was older and said if i flirted with him he’d venmo me money, because he didn’t look creepy & being a college student I thought it was a sweet deal. The guy I was exclusive with praised me for how lucky I was before officially exclusive) So when we were hanging out once I brought up that I had a conversation recently with this older man. He got uncomfortable now though, when i said I was flirty with him and how I didn’t realize how that was wrong bc it was a business transaction imo he freaked out. said loyality was his biggest value and he couldn’t see me as loyal anymore.

He never looked at me the same, he tried to work on it with me, but it was like he switched. He went from looking at me so lovingly, out of a movie to looking at me with disgust. My friends said they didn’t think it was worth his reaction, his friends said i was a huge red flag. i’ve tried to ask my friends how he could view me so badly? and even amplifying the story we still can’t comprehend how after everything we’ve been through (i mean talking for around 5 months, looking at each other like we weren’t real, that we were perfect, making future plans together, meeting each other friends telling our families about each other) to him just leaving me. why would he leave me?

I also blocked the guy when i realized that that relationship even though purely for money would hurt him and reassured him that but he still stopped liking me. he says he never expected to meet someone like me who’d change his no dating rule, bc i was “perfect” to him, and now that he’s 25 he has to think long term and he can’t anymore with me bc of that one thing. because we weren’t offical i feel like i can’t rant to my friends about this, they’ve been in long term relationships and might belittle the value of it, but honestly i’m so heartbroken. i can’t help but think about him a lot, and every time i do i’m so heartbroken it hurts a ton. how can he not remember how happy we used to be? was his “lovingness” and those promises all a lie in the beginning?

i blocked him on everything, except text and have reached out to him once on snapchat but blocked him immediatly once i saw i was left on read, he only texted me once asking if i has blocked him on everything i said yes and that was the end of the conversation. the break up happened two weeks ago. what can i do? i miss him so much but i feel like he doesn’t feel the same and that makes me so sad. i wish we could go back to the beginning, is that possible at all anymore? is there anything I can do? if not how do i cope with this heartbreak?

your making a big mess. I suggest you walk away. atleast for the present. atleast for few months. if thereafter you still think you have feelings for him re aproach with a casual and soft tone. no heavy duty stuff. based on his response you can take it from there. I think by approaching so many times, you may come across as desperate and clingy which may not work to your advantage.

Sorry someone has added a post to mine that isn’t my story. E is not me, but I feel her frustration. Much love to all