Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Is it too soon for me to give the guy I'm seeing a birthday gift?
- This topic has 10 replies and was last updated 9 years, 4 months ago by
CBHeart16.
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analysis-paralysis
We are in our late 20s and have been dating for a little over a month, seeing each other once a week. No boyfriend/girlfriend labels though we are exclusive, nor have we met each others’ friends/family.
It’s been going at a really comfortable pace as we are both career-focused and prioritising our own goals at this stage. At the same time, it feels like we’re falling for each other and are serious about the time and effort we do make for each other. He is incredibly busy and yet always makes time for me, which I find incredibly romantic (ah, so this is what mature, confident, adult dating feels like – finding the small things romantic..!).
He’s travelling home to spend his birthday with his family this weekend – he doesn’t make a big fuss about it and is generally quite low-key. I’ll be seeing him the day before he leaves.
There’s a gift I want to give him (a stunning, but inexpensive whisky glass set). I originally bought it for myself, but think he’d love it. I am a naturally giving person, and I wouldn’t want it to make him feel uncomfortable, or to make this relationship seem unnecessarily serious/burdened… My birthday is also coming up a month later, so I’d hate to make him feel pressured to return the gesture. This would be the first physical gift we’d exchange, and I guess I’ve never been the first to give a gift in a relationship before? Not sure it matters, but still…
Basically, I don’t want to ruin a good thing, but I genuinely think he’d love the present! What should I do? My gut feel is to play it by ear, probably not give it to him this time round but if all goes well, there’s no reason why I can’t give it to him for Christmas etc. further down the line, when I feel more comfortable with the idea.
Would be great to hear your thoughts/experiences on this! Thanks everyone.
Taivas
I really don’t think a man making time for you should be considered as being a “small thing” – in fact it’s the most precious “thing” that a man can provide you with…
Anyway apart from that detail, I believe it is a bit too soon considering you have not even put a label on your relationship…be patient and leave it for later would be my advice. You will have time to give him this gift later on, when you are boyfriend and girlfriend and decide to take it further.
Boog
I think I’d hold off on the whiskey glass set at this point. You guys are still very early in your relationship and things can change quickly at this stage–you don’t want to give him a lovely gift and then end up regretting that you did if things don’t work out! It sounds like an awesome gift–I’d hang on to it and save it for a later time if things keep going well.
L
I agree it is a bit too soon and since your bdays are a month apart he may feel obligated to get you something which you don’t want him to feel obligated.
I would say take him out for a drink and say lets celebrate your bday and its on me. I don’t think guys are really into gift giving especially the first few weeks its always a bit of an issue for us because I would think the same thing let me get him something small….but wait it out until Xmas.
Anon
I agree with the others – hold onto those for now.
My go-to-gift/gesture in situations like this is the cupcake with a candle/sparkler or a coffee/other beverage with ‘Happy Birthday’ written on the paper cup – a bit cliched, but I feel it’s a no budget-low budget no mess-no fuss way to say “hey, I noticed it’s your birthday, but not making a big deal of it”.
analysis-paralysis
Thanks guys!
I think at this point it’s not worth the risk.
I’d love to keep it for myself actually. :DCarmen Young
Hey… I am going through the exact same scenario and I was wondering did you end up giving the guy the gift or not and furthermore are you both still dating or did things not work out. I wanted to get a guy a Hat because that is what he is into his bday is tomorrow and mine is two months from now. Our relationship is fairly new so I don’t want to seem careless for getting him something but I don’t want to seem cheap by getting nothing. What do you suggest?
BelliniGirl
Hi! I agree with the others. Keep the gift for when you have labels, lest you regret for having this lovely gift to him too early. But yes, you could take him out to dinner to his fav place/ a drink at a nice place. I am sure he will appreciate it and sometimes, spending time with someone on their birthday makes for a better gift than giving them something :)
jen
hi, i normally give a cake and an inexpensive gift (like a shirt)
anyway just greeting your guy a happy birthday would be enough :)Jordan
Hey! It is his birthday. You give people a gift on their birthday. Do the math. The real question is how much do you spend on the gift. But if you’re like me you will give him what you think will make him happy (and you will feel happy too). And yes, I would also keep the glass set for myself. Maybe buy two sets?
CBHeart16
I agree that it is too soon.
Next time you go out, offer to buy a round of drinks or if you go to dinner, secretly tell the matre’d to bring a little slice of cake/desert with a candle. That is enough.Men don’t respond to gifts like women do typically unfortunately.
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