Is it wrong not to tell him I'm pregnant?

Well it’s only one month of pregnancy.
As for why, we are simply not ready yet, only one year and a half together, not living together yet and I just got a full time job in a new country I just moved in.it’s not a planned or wanted child now as we discussed having children in like 4 Years from now.
I really don’t think its fair for the future baby to be born now that nothing would be ready for her and him and parents who didn’t want her/him yet…

Let’s say he finds out 5, 10, 20 years from now, How do you think he’d feel? Lied to maybe? Hurt? Cheated?

This child is part of him as well.
I’m not sure I’d want to be with a girl who couldn’t involve me.

You might want to consider telling him. This is also your choice.

“it is not fair for the baby to be born into..” but it “is” fair to be aborted..? huh?

Legal does not mean right.

However, if you are going to abort it, don’t tell him. It is your body, he will only feel violated if he disagrees with your decision. Don’t tell him EVER. Not now not later.

firstly – Im not judging you and Im not trying to change your mind… But I think you should tell your boyfriend. It’s your body and of course the last word has to be yours, but I kind of feel that in cases like this it has to be mutual decision. Avoiding a pregnancy is BOTH parties responsibility, not only women’s. Even if you are on pill a grown up man has to be aware that every intercourse can end with a pregnancy and it is his responsibility too – if he wasn’t ok with taking that responsibility he shouldn’t have sex. Don’t blame only yourself because of that.

I understand that your decision is done and as I said it is completely your right to decide whatever.. but in my opinion 1,5 years together isn’t that short time. I know couples who have been dating (!) only 3 or 6 months before a woman got pregnant and both of those couples are happily married by now for years and having even more than 1 kid already. There will be never too perfect timing probably and even in the situations where the timing was really bad, it turned up really good in the end and they are really happy. And work… work is something you may lose overnight, so I wouldn’t do any big decisions in my life only because of the work. Well, I gave these examples as just a little factor what to consider before rushing to that decision.

Anyway, wish you the best.

Melania,
I really think you should tell your boyfriend. If it was some random guy you were hooking up with then I’d see no big deal in going about it without his knowledge. The reason being is what if you have a complications or worse later down the line it spills out in some way?

In relationships I think secrets are not good and this one is a big deal. This is a baby we are talking about.

Imagine how he would feel if he found out you aborted his child.

@Options2
That happened to an Aunt of mine. She had an abortion, then later on in life couldn’t have any.

Sorry Andy …felt bad for your cousin who did not make it to the universe.

I don’t think he’d be supportive but just say I’m stupid and probably a turn off.

Would he really say something like that to you? If, so I honestly question why you are with this guy in the first place.

Please think it over very very carefully.

I got pregnant when I was 20 and also on the pill from a man I knew I would break up with. Regardless I wanted to keep the baby. My family convinved me not to due to my studies, etc. I kept the ultrasound until it faded out. It was not the right man, not the right time but to this day I question that decision. I never had a child. To this day this is one of the saddest things in my life. I will forever regret that decision. If I had to make it today, no matter what, I would fight for that baby.

That said this guy does not sound like a very nice guy. Not the right guy to you, not one that treats you well if he would say something like that. I would seriously think it over why you are with him and telling him would be a good test. In a situation like this he should be with you and by your side supporting you fully. If not, I would not excuse him but cut him off. How much can a man love a woman not being there for her through such a difficult time.

Definitely think you should discuss it with him and see how he reacts but as to the baby, make your decision very carefully, one day you may feel very sorry for letting this baby go.

I think you should tell your bf, although i also believe its your body and your choice. But i would, because going through an abortion is extremely difficult even if you know it is the right thing to do for you. So you might want his support. If he really is making it about you, you have to question his character. Every reasonable man knows it takes two to tango. Its not like you are tricking him into fatherhood here. Take care, be prepared that its not easy. Your hormones might be going nutty already.

Absolutely YES – before you do anything – he deserves to be a part of any decision.

Think this over. A baby is a blessing. I would keep the baby. I am not judging you but I think you may regret this later in life, not just because I believe he will be furious with you if he ever finds out.

Many people raised good points about why you should keep it, what if you couldn’t have another, what if he finds out, how he could find out – but ultimately, I believe giving up this baby will hurt you. You are young and don’t have children yet, so maybe you don’t understand – children feel like a part of you, and when something happens to them, you feel it in your soul.

I cant help having issues with people (also people i respect) pushing for keeping the baby (while also stating they don’t judge). Abortion is such a difficult thing to do, and its not a light decision. You get screened more than if you want to buy a gun (if you live in the USA). The question wasnt about having an abortion but about telling the bf. I would really ask you girls to please not do this.