Is it wrong not to tell him I'm pregnant?

If u keep this from him how do u plan on explaining the not having sex part for 6 weeks??

Dear ladies,

Thank you all for your messages. I guess you all made me come to my sense a bit together with my friends last night, who thought it is best to tell him. And if he reacts negatively then he is not even worth keeping.

I had no idea how to,and my gfs gave me little tips to say it in a more subtle way.

This is how it went:
We were sitting and having dinner. I complained a bit about my belly and told him my period was being irregular and my breasts too sensitive,so that I’d like to see a doctor next week. He asked me if I told my mum about this and what she thought…And I just blurted: she thinks I might be pregnant, and my best friend too.

He became all surprised and laughed, and i told him I was actually serious and afraid that might be the case. So he said: then you must go see a doctor asap! Do you want me To go with you?

I was surprised and said if he wanted to then yes. Then I asked what if its positive. “Well, then it’s positive!” I told him : “but you wouldnt be angry at me?” He said:”of course not, why would I !?!? I’ll be here for you “.
Then my fear just kept talking, and he got a bit agitated saying “why would I leave you for this or not support you? You think I’m an animal or something? Don’t worry babe, call Monday and we’ll go together.”

And we have left it at that. So he doesn’t know but he will…and his reaction has totally surprised me! Although we still have not discussed about what he prefers since he told me he doesnt think I am.

I’ll keep you updated. I’m quite nervous for next week and hope all will go well.

I am glad it is partly out in the open….and I have a much different view of your BF….whew.

You did not give this man enough credit….please please, whatever comes up do not think he is too frail to handle it…tell him things….

Open communication and trust is what keeps a relationship going…otherwise it dies….treat him as a best friend….not as a delicate piece of glass.

I am very glad he will be there for you….

sorry,consider my opinion deleted :D

Today he has been very affectionate (as always) and that hasn’t changed, but every Time he asks me a question about it he looks very very worried (like: do your breasts still hurt? Did you throw up in the last weeks? Etc ).

He wants to do a home test tonight and I’m super nervous because now he will now for sure…:-(

Hi Melania,

Yes, he will know. That is ok. He has been there for you.

Of course he is concerned, this is big and he is giving it proper gravity. He has also been thinking “what if she is? what then?”

That is all normal…think about how you have been feeling…lots of the same emotions.

He has manned up on this…he is by your side. He also does not totally know how you will react to the “news”….he does not know that you already know.

He is wondering what you will say and how you will feel.

So, take the test and know he will be there so the two of you can discuss what to do from here. Do not be afraid to give him a couple of days to be confused if that is what he wants..this is big and he needs time to reflect. Even if he comes out with a knee jerk reaction know he is still weighing in his mind and heart this event. It is not a small thing to anyone…man or woman.

Also I like the approach you took. this way it seems as if your both finding out together, so not 100% honest but a lot better than never telling him at all you know.
you both get to enjoy and experience each others reaction simultaneously. I hope you are prepared to act surprised though and not give away the moment.

I had an abortion a few years ago. I was 19 and I did not keep it because I feared my mother would disown me. You have no idea how much I regret having that abortion. It hurts me so much everyday. From the time I got prego I knew the baby would be born in march, and every march I light up a candle and wish my unborn baby a happy birthday.

Having an abortion can affect you a lot psychologically. I have been married for one year now and we have been trying to conceive and its just not happening. I feel like that is god punishing me for having that abortion and my biggest fear is that now I can’t ever have children.

I’m not telling you not to do it, but I am just saying think of the consequences and the long
term effects that procedure will have on you.

So, I wanted to give you all an update as how it went.

That day we did not buy the test for home, as we got a bit scared. He said that since I am going to the doctor, that is best to just wait what the doctor said. I went this morning, and she confirmed that I am of about 7 weeks and that it would be due in September this year.
A friend of mine accompanied me, because he could not miss work. I wanted to wait til night to talk face to face, but he kept nagging and contacting, until he ask: Could you please just confirm if you are pregnant or not?

I could not avoid it anymore, so I just told him, about half an hour ago.

We both were supposed to have training (each of us has a hobby the same day), but first thing he said was: “Okay, we will talk when I get home.. Maybe we should skip training today.. Dont you think?”

I said if that is what he wanted, then yes. His answer was: “Yes this is 1. priority.. But dont panic babe.. I’m here for you ”

So that it is. We are both at work so we cannot keep talking. He finally knows and tonight we are going to have the talk. No idea still what he will say and how is he feeling, as I guess he is processing the news right now.

Thank you all for listening. It is helping a lot.

He is right there. Perfect.

No matter what he is right there. Kudos to him….kudos to him and you.

Good. I’m not saying good that Iis your decision but good that you both agree on the same way forward. There won’t be conflict between you and he will be there to offer his support all the way.

Remember he’s only just found out for sure, so his feelings may change, although he has had time to think about the possibility and what he would want to do.

It’s very important you allow him to express his feelings and help you through this. Men like to help. And you will need support.

Please let us know how your conversation goes. Good luck!

Terrific thanks so much for the update. I’ve been looking on here all day to see some good news. I’m sure you are more relieved and whatever your decision (to keep or terminate) it’s going to be made together. So you see…………..he did not react at all like you expected!!! good for him and you!

You just made the path clear for a future with him and not having this over your head the rest of your life. This is a huge hurdle. so happy for you. I do have question tho, would you not consider adoption instead of abortion…just asking?

I had two during my lifetime then had two miscarriages later in life (I thought the miscarriage it was God’s way of taking them from me after I aborted the first two) so it is a lot of emotions to go through. Either way I still ended up with four beautiful children but just want you to know that even if you and him can’t raise them now, doesn’t mean someone else might not be able to give them the life they deserve.

Thank you all for opening my eyes on this.
It made me realize the real friends I have and the amazing man I have next to me and how difficult situations should not be avoided but addressed and deal with them as they come.