Is Kissing Intimate For Guys? (FWB Question)

I’ve had one night stands and FWBs and kissed all of them. For me, kissing is a big part of foreplay and I don’t even know how you’d get to sex without having kissed.

I don’t know in this case because the guy never kissed you before, but normally men do kiss in every sexual situation except with some prostitutes that don’t allow it. You don’t think he’s been using “paid services” so you and that’s why he didn’t kiss you, because he’s got used to not kissing the woman? I don’t think for most men it’s that intimate but maybe for this man it is.

Anyway I wouldn’t read anything into it. He’ll make it clear if he’s developing feelings for you.

Men bond by doing fun things with a woman who has a pleasant personality. And men hate drama. So if you’re going out together more often and both enjoying the moments (apart from sex), there’s more of a chance he would catch deeper feelings for you.

Curious as to how long ago you started seeing each other again?

And ever since we slept together again in September, he has been texting me almost daily asking to hang out, to see me, to come over and cuddle, to lunch, telling me he misses me, telling me he’s thinking about me… He used to not ever do that before.

Wow..it sounds like he really likes you a lot. But it’s only been 2 months since you’ve starting hanging out and having sex, so don’t get overly excited. Some things I want to add: Don’t ever ask him to text more often and don’t bombard him with texts or drag out text conversations. And don’t grill him about his feelings. Just be the happiest person when you see him and be very affectionate. Good luck:)

I never text him first, he always initiates it. I’m just trying to go with the flow.

I disagree. She has known this man for two years and his isn’t their first get together. They were fwb last time. Many men come back for the same. So I think it’s very appropriate that if she doesn’t want fwb this time, that she makes that clear up front. This isn’t a new situation or person. Many times men will revert back to a woman like this when he has nothing else going on and the companionship is known and easy. So you can carry on and see what happens, but to me this is like rekindling a relationship after a break up. Find out if he wants to try for a dating situation, or if he just assumes he is sliding back in for more of what he had before. Women are so afraid to tell a man what she wants. And that’s the very reason they end up getting hurt.

Joe
Your opinion or Hannah’s isn’t any better than mine. And we all know and have said many times that you cannot scare away a man that really wants to be with you.
Second, we all know how many women come on here on a daily basis confused because her fwb treats her like a gf. And when they ask, the man admits he still only wants a fwb. And it’s not just actions that speak for themselves. It’s when actions and words match. Right now there are no words that go along with the actions.
The OP admits they just started ‘hooking up again’ and her only measure of difference is that he kisses her now? So that’s supposed to mean something? He has had more sexual experience in two years. It may just mean he now incorporates that into his sex acts.
OP will do what she wants. But this is backward advice in my opinion based on the fact that they were only fwb u tip he found a gf. Now the gf is gone and he is back again for companionship and sex. I would be asking why he is back. Not just doing same old.

Jan, her words were;”And ever since we slept together again in September, he has been texting me almost daily asking to hang out, to see me, to come over and cuddle, to lunch, telling me he misses me, telling me he’s thinking about me… He used to not ever do that before.”

It’s true you usually can’t scare a man away if he wants to be with a woman, but it’s too early to tell at this point. It takes some time for a man to be very sure he wants to be with her. When he’s confident that they are compatible, he will usually ask her to be his girlfriend and commit to her..

I’m not even sure that I would want to be more than FWB with him. He has cheated on like three of his girlfriends that I know of…. I think I deserve better. LOL

You don’t even want him as a bf? Then what is your issue? He’s a cheater. Has only a history of fwb with you. So what he kissed you? Well that was a waste of advice.

Jan, yes what a waste of time and advice! Your ideas were good too, but she’s happy with FWB, lol. So she’s confused, so what and what does it even matter now? I hate these posts that seem to start off one way, then dribble out a little more, and it turns out it’s something different.

Confused, be happy with your FWB or dump him.

You need to take the ‘resistor role’. I always take this role because its impossible to read minds or know what someone’s intentions are without outright asking them. The problem with that though is they may not know that answer yet so its best to carefully LISTEN to what they SAY and are NOT SAYING because actions without words are meaningless. I can dig a hole but if I don’t tell you WHY I’m digging it then your imagination takes over to try to fill in the blanks and oftentimes its completely wrong when you have no other facts or information to work with.

In this case BELIEVE THE NEGATIVE and IGNORE THE POSITIVE. What it means is you need to ignore all the positive signs, like your doing here, and carefully listen and observe the negative ones as that will reveal their true state of mind. Has he said anything along the lines of “I’m not looking for a relationship”? or “I enjoy your company?” or intentionally been completely silent on this? Those are the NEGATIVES you need to HEED because that’s where he’s at mentality, just killing time, and until you have more detailed information to work with, then what you have is all you have.

I definitely had this conversation with my current BF, whom I had a prior fling with for a few months. Nine months later he came back to our port (works on a ship) and I went into it with the exact same mentality—we’ll have fun for a bit, he’ll leave, and I’ll get back to my busy life. The second time however was different, after he left he kept pursuing me and I asked him very directly “what’s changed since the first time?” and he answered “I’m in a different place now, I can’t get you out of mine and don’t want to lose you.” Trust me, I was very resistant because I wasn’t going to waste my time, energy or attention on a guy who was killing time until he found something better….I have too much pride to allow that.

Over several months I CAREFULLY listened to his words and observed his actions by focusing on any negatives and ignoring the positives. To this day he has been consistent in his words and actions because I resisted and he had to step up in a very big way to PROVE that he wasn’t yanking my chain. He’s opened up far more than I have, “is glad we’re on the same page”, “wants to be with me and only me”; “would never do anything to hurt me”, and “is so happy I gave him a chance to be with him”—-all in his own words, which are followed up by ACTIONS as he pampers and showers me with attention and affection when were together.

If I were you I would RESIST the temptation to go down the same path you did before. Your prior history is much different than someone you just met and getting to know. I would definitely put it out there, like I did, and get clarity on his intentions before you proceed further! Trust me, your going to get really hurt if you misread all these signs!