Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Is saying "Hey you" a bad thing?
- This topic has 14 replies and was last updated 8 years, 10 months ago by
Vs girl.
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VS Girl
Hey all. I know this is kind of a silly question, but I was confused by a situation I ran into tonight. I’m on an online dating site (a more casual free one, that’s all I can afford currently) and have been chatting with a few guys. One particular guy I messaged first a few nights ago and he’s messaged me first the last few nights. We’ve chatted about this and that, nothing too heavy…but he seems like a decent guy. Anyhow he messaged me tonight with a simple “hey” message. Normally I’d respond to that type of message with a “hey” or “hey how’s it going” but I guess I was feeling more flirty tonight and wrote “hey you”. This was a few minutes after he wrote me, I was already online on the site. I don’t know if that’s the best message or the message I should have written, but any rate didn’t think it was a big deal. The guy wound up not messaging me back. The site said he was still online so I waited for a bit and heard nothing. I realize if a guy would write me off for something stupid like that he’s not worth my time, but I just wondered what you guys thought. Is saying “hey you” in a flirty way to a new guy something to avoid? Do you think this guy may just have gotten busy with something else or maybe I just didn’t rank high on his list?
Raven
Guys who write ‘Hey’ are unimaginative & don’t deserve a reply…
Blair
@raven
Actually I think that applies to guys who said “hey” without any follow up lolredcurleysue
Hey
redcurleysue
Sorry I could not resist.
I guess Hey is Hello.
I would answer back in Swaheli “Jumbo”.
Let him put that in his pipe and smoke it.
Andrea
People get busy with life too when they are connected, cooking, cleaning, living their lives. Sometimes if the online tool is on your mobile phone, you even forget you are still connected. I would not give any importance to texts or lack of them. Only importance in online dating is an actual date and follow up dates.
I know because I did so plenty of times.
Tallspicy
Correct responce:
Hey!?!?! I know you can do better than that ;-)…..
kaye
Love Tallspicy’s response!! LOL The way I feel about it is if a guy is going to be that lazy with his communication and expect me to carry the conversation then he’s not worth my time. Certainly he could have managed a Hey, how was your day? text. I mean how hard is that? At least it starts a conversation.
I would assume he messaged multiple women “hey” because it takes no thought or time whatsoever and that the ones who actually respond that he’s more interested in are the ones he’s was talking to.
Jules
Something else to keep in mind because it’s happened to me. Sometimes with those dating sites it will signal that the person is still online when in fact they logged off, sometimes an hour before the “online now” indicator goes off.
I at least found that happening on OKC. Not sure if that’s the site you’re using.
TeamA
“I would assume he messaged multiple women “hey” because it takes no thought or time whatsoever and that the ones who actually respond that he’s more interested in are the ones he’s was talking to.”
I agree with Kaye, it’s a way to gauge interest, I would like to add that you’re the deal here, the Goddess looking for a partner to YOUR level,worrying if you’ve wrote something wrong,worrying if his mind changed about you,is a waste of precious energy.
You’re the one who should be talking to many guys,gauge their interest and pick the best :)
Having the power to chose is better than waiting to be chosen.
Miss_Aspiring
To answer your question, no, nothing is wrong with saying “hey you.” It’s cute and flirty, so either he didn’t see your message, or he lost interest for no apparent reason, which is very very common in online dating.
Maria
Hey is for horses ladies!
Is a guy is over 12 and completed high school and he messages you “hey” and nothing else, let him be.
Megan
I wouldnt be thinking so much about a guy you’ve never even met before…. it’s no big deal, shrug it off and move on. it doesn’t matter either way.
Amy
I agree with Megan. I personally hate it when people say Hey (because I remember my mother telling me, Hay is for horses, when I was a kid) but there wasn’t anything wrong with your message. You are way over-thinking this. Forget about him; he never even met you so the reason he didn’t respond probably has nothing to do with you.
Vs girl
Thanks everyone for all the feedback. Lots of good points here. I was definitely overthinking it. It just struck me as odd that someone would initiate a conversation, get a reply back a few minutes later and not continue that conversation. Not that it matters, but the guy had been initiating real conversation and asking me questions about myself and my life up until that point, so it wasn’t just left at hey or what’s up etc. I guess at any rate that’s why it’s good to talk to lots of different guys until you hit it off in person and have really gotten to know someone.
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