Home › Forums › Texting Advice › Is the texting slowing down because of this?
- This topic has 4 replies and was last updated 4 years, 6 months ago by
mell.
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Mandy
We had our first date about a week before we entered lockdown, so nearly 7 weeks ago now. We’ve been texting back and forth pretty much every day, but recently it’s slowed down a lot.
We’re both quite busy with work but often it can take him several hours to get back to me. The conversation, I’ll admit, is very small talky at the moment, it’s been a fair amount of time and it’s not like we’ve been able to go out and do things… he says he hates calls and wouldn’t be very good company so that hasn’t happened…
But it feels like he’s replying less and less to the point that today I’ve been left on read for half the day (i hate read receipts with a passion)
We have organised to go out again as soon as this is all lifted but still. I’m trying to figure out if he’s losing interest or if the fact that we’ve been talking for quite a while he feels comfortable checking in every now and then?
Zoe
You needs to stop initiating!
Take 2 bigs steps back and dont expect anything from a stranger you only met onceVictoria
You should tell him that you can see he’s very busy and so are you so you think it would be best to have a break right now perhaps until things get back to normal.
If he agrees then you may not ever hear from him again but at least you will know. In the mean time get on with your life.
B
Speaking from someone who has two brothers, one who’s pretty popular among girls and one who is more clueless, I feel like I can let some insight into this. Can’t speak for all guys but they hate texting with a passion. They usually text girls alot at the start, then it kind of dies down a bit because they said its not feasible and they have other things to do and cannot multi-task. If they feel like the covo is just small talks and not going anywhere, they just don’t bother. My brother likes to actually ask a girl out and speak to her in person, so this could be due to the lockdown, which is not ideal.
This doesn’t usually mean he’s not interested, maybe just fed up with having a virtual convos. But guys can also sometimes lose interest when they don’t see the girl. So I’d say see what happens, you’ve been on one date so don’t mention his texting/ replying habits to him. Keep busy yourself, focus on something else and if he texts you, you text back. If he doesn’t, the leave him. Don’t bombard him with texts and try to let him initiate the convo.
mell
You’ve only really had one date – there are a lot of reasons why this could be.
Plus, it’s generally harder to fill ocnversation, because we’re all doing a lot less stuff! My boyfriend and I talk every day but it’s not always thrilling – sometimes not much has gone on.
Your tlak may be small talkey, but you’re only a month or two in – there’s still loads to learn about each other. Maybe actually initiate some more interesting conversation? Ask question that let you get to know a bit more?
As others have said, guys aren’t as into phoning or texting as women, on average. Maybe he doesn’t feel like there’s much to reply to the small talky stuff? Does he ever initiate, or are you always the one making all the conversation? Because if you feel he’s just replying uot of politeness, you can have a chat about whether he’s actually interested in pursuing things.
Both men and women slowly ease up on the texting after the initial stages – it’s hard to maintain that initial spark in the longterm, and we all have other stuff to do. Don’t tell him off for replying a couple of hours late, when you’re both free. It’d be different if he knew you’d be busy later and didn’t make time to chat when you were free. It’s also pretty early on in seeing each other, so I’d be cautious.
Perhaps it’s harder for people in early dating to maintain interest without seeing each other -there’s a small chance he may be finding it hard to stay interested. It’s hard to tell what he’d be like when you’re not under lockdown.
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