Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Is this just BS for, “I just don’t want it with YOU”?
- This topic has 4 replies and was last updated 4 years, 4 months ago by
Emmy.
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Danni
So I used to date this guy years ago. We reconnected during the quarantine. He moved to CA years ago but come back to the east coast because of COVID. We get along well. We crack each other up and love and tease each other. For example, I got him this funny gag gift that cost $3. He sent me a picture of him using it and he teased me about it. He took me to get dinner for my birthday.
Like I said we get along pretty well minus a 1 or 2 disagreements/arguments. We had an argument over politics. He got pretty worked up, but then he called to apologize the next morning. Recently, he called me on FaceTime in the late afternoon. I was really wiped out from work so I called him back the next afternoon. The first thing he said was, “I called you yesterday”. I told him I was exhausted from work so I put my phone away for the rest of the day, to which he replied, “but I called you in the afternoon?”. Why the grilling?? sheesh. He does 99% of the initiating. He said a few months ago, “you know you really like me”. I replied with, “not really I’m just bored during the quarantine”. I had just gotten out of a relationship and wasn’t interested in developing anything with anyone.
Any who, as I mentioned he doesn’t live in our hometown anymore, oh and he lives in his car too. So he needs to go back and get some thinrgs on the other coast. He asked me if I wanted to go cross country with him for the trip. I brought up how sometimes I think we’re just friends to which he replied, “we’re not friends”. I said that I’m not interested in a fling and that we could continue to hang out as friends. He said he doesn’t know where he’ll be in the next few months and that he’ll be traveling across the country and “I don’t want to drag you through that”.
So is this is a BS excuse for not wanting to take things further? Or is it I just don’t want it with YOU?
Newbie
Oh this one is even better than the judo post. So you told him youre not interested, you were just bored. So he said the same to you and now you are wondering if he wants more? And he lives in a car where he travels coast to coast with to gather his things. So you want babies with him?
Liz Lemon
I’m with Newbie. You told him that you didn’t like him and were just hanging out with him because you were bored during quarantine. And now you’re questioning why he doesn’t want to take things further? Sheesh.
This guy sounds sensible and honest to me. He lives in his car (!) so he clearly does not have his life together. You told him you did not want a fling. He told you that he doesn’t know where he’ll be for the next few months. He’ll be traveling across the country. So how can he promise anyone a relationship at this point in his life? The most he could be for anyone right now is a fling, and you were clear that’s not what you want.
So I don’t understand your question, he is not giving you a BS excuse for “not taking things further”. He CAN’T take things further right now. And on the one hand you tell him you don’t like him and are just bored, but at the same time you want more from him. So you need to look at yourself and why you would say something like that to a guy, if it wasn’t what you really meant.
Raven
I’m confused… I thought it was You that didn’t want him?
Emmy
“I know you like me”.
“I called you yesterday”.
Initiates majority of the contact.
Asking you to go cross country with him.^^^thats not the behavior of someone who only views you as casual. However, if he’s going to be traveling and doesn’t know where he’ll be he CANT have anything serious. He views you as more but it’s not the right time.
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