Is this manipulation?

My ex (32 M) and I (30 F) dated for nine years. He adored me and told everybody how I am the reason why he got his life back together. His last girlfriend did a number on him and he had given up on dating when we met. He was so sweet and supportive for a very long time. In 2016 I experienced a traumatic event and was suffering with PTSD (didn’t realize it at the time – thought PTSD was for those who had been to war only). I was doing everything I could to heal. Everybody would comment about how resilient I was and how much grit I had because they said they would have given up after what I went through. My ex was supportive at first, but over time he began to resent that my healing wasn’t fast enough. He said that I wasn’t the same as I used to be. He is right that I lost a lot of my confidence, but it’s not like I completely changed. I wasn’t THAT much different. I just didn’t have as much energy, and I was trying to find myself again. I don’t know anybody who would have been the same after what I experienced. It’s not like I became a terrible person. But I still went out to do things with him and we had fun times. At my worst I was just annoying.

He used to be a science-y type nerd, but he got a new “trendy” and very stressful job running a distillery in our city. Suddenly he was the cool guy. And he was slowly becoming obsessed with his guy friends. He told me that his new way to get ahead was to believe that he was the smartest person in the room at all times. If I would vent about my day at work to him, he would lecture me because his day at work was so stressful that he couldn’t bear to hear about mine. He made me feel like a burden. He blamed me for things in his life he didn’t like that I did not cause. He broke up with me 30 minutes before an important family event of mine. I had no idea he was going to do this. He said that he didn’t want to sacrifice himself to help me any longer. And that his “cup” was empty. He said it had been building up for a year. I was in shock. I suggested couple’s counseling and he said no. He just wants to focus on himself now. I really wasn’t a demanding girlfriend, but he made me feel like the worst partner because I was not 100% healed from my trauma yet. But it’s not like I was doing anything out of the ordinary or crazy. I was seeing a therapist and doing everything in my power to get better. We still had so many fun times even after the traumatic event I experienced. When I look at our old messages from that time, we were still sending each other funny memes like we have always done. But yet I still feel like the worst person in the world.

A few times during our relationship I caught him flirting with other girls online. The other times I caught him flirting with girls online he would say things like oh you’re cute, or just something small like that to another girl. And then he would feel bad when I caught him. But otherwise he was the perfect boyfriend. It wasn’t anything major, so I forgave it because otherwise he was so good to me. However, about one year after my traumatic event, I found that he was snapchatting with a girl (lets call her Jessica) he met in college, but she was and still is married, and one of them said (not sure who) “I wonder what things would have been like had we dated.” When I confronted him about this, he threatened to kick me out of our apartment. I was shocked. So unlike him to act that way. He apologized later and we got back to normal. Three years later… we had been broken up for a month, and I moved out. Jessica is suddenly following him on instagram again. And he is following her. She also follows his instagram account for the distillery where he works. And she likes all of the posts he makes on there. I did some research, and it turns out that her husband had recently survived cancer and she donated part of her liver to him. I also noticed that my ex kicked me off of our shared Disney Plus account (that he said I could continue to use) to add her name and icon.

I texted my ex that I saw he deleted me from our account and added Jessica. He was extremely angry and said that she moved out to be away from her husband for awhile and he kicked her off of their Disney Plus. She’s like 31 and loves Disney movies, which I know is true. He told me that I was overreacting and told me off.

I feel like this is all my fault that he left. Because I wasn’t able to find myself fast enough after experiencing a traumatic event. He said I was “emptying his cup,” but then again, he was also working overtime many weeks and was burned out. He told me that I wasn’t the same (I wasn’t THAT much different) and that he was burned out on life. I am devastated, and I feel like it’s all my fault. Please help me.