Just Broke Up With Fiance But….

It sounds like you’re going through a really painful and frustrating situation, and I totally get why you’re feeling this way. Breakups are never easy, but this one seems to have a lot of unfinished emotions attached to it, which makes it even harder to process.

From what you described, it seems like he’s emotionally withdrawing, which can happen when someone is overwhelmed or unsure about what they want. The fact that he untagged himself from a photo but hasn’t blocked you suggests that he’s distancing himself but isn’t fully cutting ties—almost like he’s leaving the door slightly open, whether intentionally or not.

Some guys shut down when they’re upset, especially if they feel like the relationship has been tense for a while. Instead of working through things, they go quiet, either because they don’t know how to handle the situation or because they assume silence will give them control over the breakup. It doesn’t necessarily mean he didn’t love you, but it could mean he’s struggling with how to deal with his emotions and yours.

The hard part is, you can’t force someone to communicate if they don’t want to. And the longer you sit in the confusion, the more painful it gets. If you really need closure, you could send a short, direct message asking for clarity. But if he still doesn’t respond, that silence is your answer.

I know it sucks, especially when you feel like he benefited more from the relationship than you did. That’s what makes it hurt even more—you gave so much, and now it feels like he’s walking away without acknowledging that. But if you were already wanting out, maybe this is just the final push you needed to fully let go. It doesn’t make it hurt less, but it does mean that, in time, you’ll see this as something that needed to happen.

Try not to torture yourself with did he ever love me? because that question will only keep you stuck. Love can exist even when people don’t know how to show up the right way. But if someone leaves you hanging like this, that’s a sign that they aren’t willing (or able) to give you the love you deserve.

You’re allowed to be mad. You’re allowed to grieve this. But don’t let his silence convince you that you weren’t enough. His actions are about him, not about your worth.

No worries. I get what you mean. I’ve been married once and have experimented with different types of guys. Had a good dating history so many great guys and not so many great guys and at 41 I know what I want, I know how to communicate and compromise and commit, sex or no sex (if I say so myself) also this forum is a great help and thought guys my age at least should have the same emotional intelligence as me but clearly not. The guy I’m with now don’t even want to communicate with me on what he wants…I may have to break up with him as a last resort as I’m a grown ass woman who wants a grown ass man, not a boy.

Alyssa good luck with that. And yes, by the time we are in our 40s we know what we want and don’t have to deal with scraps..

Raven – I think they said that because he’s not fighting for me. We had broken up (unofficially) in August. He simply got mad at me for expressing my needs, (I’m always clear) and left me on read for like 2 days. Then he reached out explaining how he thought I was cheating because he noticed the “poke” feature was enabled on my fb. I know, very childish. I’m never on FB anyway. But I digress. So we got back together because he called me and wanted to stay. I reluctantly agreed, started making plans to separate. Last thing he said was that I was leaving HIM because he finally started sticking up for himself. Delusional, I know.

I’m grappling with wondering if he ever loved me. For him to leave my last text on read is crazy. Yes, I had said, “take care of yourself,” then “go take care of your son” But to leave it alone and never reach out? I have never in my life have someone just not say anything. Truth be told although I wanted to break up with him, I was having trouble saying goodbye. He seemed to have wanted it. Or was he just taking his queues from me.

We were engaged. But his car was “broken” for a month.( And he had received $500 from who knows where when he’s broke. ) And so during this month I had time to detach. And I realized this would be a good way to end things. I just don’t understand why he stayed away. He could’ve gotten his car fixed. He was using his father’s car, I knew because I’d facetime him randomly. But I realized this was going to be his life – always financial troubles, always with me having to help him or deal with something.

I’m just having a very hard time dealing with him not reaching out and fighting for this.