Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Just found out I’m being cheated on… my heart is in two
- This topic has 10 replies and was last updated 4 years, 3 months ago by
Wendy Cain.
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Molly
Most of you probably expected this and honestly I did too. If you remember me from my previous posts, this was a long time coming. I was never the girl to go out of my way to catch my man cheating because I believed in trust. But when my trust had been compromised so many times by this guy I took the initiative to “test” him. Basically, confirm what I knew was happening. I had a friend he didn’t know reach out and flirt with him and basically he agreed to meet up and everything. This whole time he’s been manipulating me into thinking I’m the one who can’t be trusted when in reality it was him all along. I’m done. For good. My deal breaker is cheating, as it should be. My question is do I tell him that I was the one behind it all along and I know everything which is why I’m ending things? Do I just block him and move on? It’s going to be tough moving on, I am completely heart broken and feel like I might wish I had gotten more closure in the future. I also to be honest just want to see what he would even say. He never admits to when he’s wrong but in a situation like this where he’s so blatantly at fault I just want to see if he’ll own up to his mistakes for once in our relationship.
Newbie
Look the more interesting question is: will you gobble up his lies when he tells them to you?
Im a bit lost on the mollies. My best bet is youre the one who was sure a fwb got turned into more. Guess not. Stop with this guy. Stop engaging. Spend time and energy on yourself and dating other guysNewbie
And Yea tell him he is a fk tard if it makes you feel better
Sensy
I feel doing anything except letting him know you are not right for each other and saying goodbye is a means of hanging on and hoping for a different outcome.
Alice
I can’t stand cheaters, they love to reverse the tables and play victim and gaslight!
I know EXACTLY what you’re going through, I mean you’re lucky if you can get through life with never being cheated on because it’s very common.
I say, do what you feel is best but if you do decide to talk to him DO NOT fall for his excuses, lies, gaslighting, etc. Cheaters are master manipulators and cowards too!
Just know, once he finds out you’re done and there is no convincing you he will try to tear you down with anger and say how awful you are. Cheaters either play victim to get their way or use nasty anger when they don’t see their victim taking them back.
Cheaters never change. When they are bored in a relationship, things get challenging in a relationship, or life gets tough, they seek a new partner to feel better. They have no skills to stay faithful.
Be careful, hugs
Molly
At this pony, there really isn’t anything he can say to me that will make me take him back. I’m used to his lies so if he tries to feed me them, I’ll just end the conversation and tell him that I just wanted him to know why I’m done.
Alice
Good! You can do this!
When I found out a guy I was dating cheated on me (long time ago), I told him I knew and he was crazy if he thought I’d stay with him. He just couldn’t understand and kept asking why, my exact response was “because I don’t date LOSERS!”
It hurt and I was devastated. But it did help me to know I was strong in the end and told him I refused to stay with someone who could do something like that.
Lane
Sorry this happened to you but its so common that they’ve written over a 1000+ books on the subject. I don’t remember your story and wish you had replied to that thread because I’m not sure if the others were able to see something you did not but decided to proceed anyway?
I adamantly believe that if you set someone up to fail, you’re always going to be disappointed when they fail, as humans are fallible. Sometimes ignorance can be bliss; or what you don’t know won’t hurt you—you get the gist. I personally am not surprised by the results because if you put a carrot in front of a bunny, he’s going to eat it.
Dan
Even though it wasnt right for him to cheat,perhaps you might have driven him to it.men are hunters and need challenges everytime coz its who we are.that doesnt mean that we should go out and look for it elsewhere
Dont go back to him but when you find someone else learn from him on how to challenge him and keep his ego up bit if he is not willing to teach you then he shouldnt be with youAlice
Molly,
Cheating is never ok. Everyone has free will in this life.If he cheated, that’s on HIM. There are no exceptions or excuses as to what caused him to cheat.
If someone isn’t satisfied in their relationship they need to either work it out with their partner or end the relationship. Cheating is NOT a solution.
No one should choose the cowardly route and cheat if needs are not being met. Get out of your relationship BEFORE you go after someone else. It’s really not rocket science.
Again, everyone has free will! Remember that!
Wendy Cain
Don’t tell him. Just block him and go nc forever. He’ll probably want to know why he’s being ignored since his ego is hurt but that’s your revenge. If you tell him he will most likely play mind games. He’ll say was a ‘mistake’ he’s sorry, won’t happen again, etc. It won’t be different. Trust me :-(
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