Home › Forums › Break Up Advice › Just Kicked Him out was I right?
- This topic has 4 replies and was last updated 5 years, 2 months ago by
Andrea.
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LG
Been together 2.5 years. He was living with me for almost 2 years but not helping me financially that was a huge issue for me which I brought up several times asking him to pay a few bills. I asked after I felt it wasn’t fair i was paying all the bills. Even though his work is not consistent he still had money to buy his kids iPhones, clothes and giving money to his kids all the time just to spend, his ex and their grandmother. I’m not complaining about child support I encourage that but he should be contributing something and not taking advantage right? He is kind and gave me a few dollars here and there but it wasn’t close to a bill and now it’s only when I get upset. He also has issues with alcohol he drinks and gets really rude with me saying I still want my ex despite him being a cheater. Always using things I said against me. This was the last straw today he came home drunk at 4 am and starts again bringing my ex. I packed his stuff and put it downstairs and told him to get it. He came and I wouldn’t let him in upstairs and he said I was wrong. I’m hurt because I know he has a lot of love to give but we can’t live on love. I’m not hurting financially but we could be better if we were both contributing. I don’t want to feel taken advantage of. I want us to grow together and because he’s so bad with money I just don’t see it happening. He kept saying he was trying but it’s like things got bad for him after we started seeing each other …he gave up his apartment and lost his license (DUI). He Uber’s everywhere spending almost $600 a month on Uber’s. He doesn’t ask me for any money but I can’t even make plans bec I don’t know if he has money. It’s not fair I have to continue to tell him to pay a bill he should be offering to pay?
Raven
Why do you even question this?
Let someone else house the freeloader…
T from NY
Get still with yourself. Stop backpedaling. There is no shame in wanting a MAN, not an free loading alcoholic, in your home. Honey he was taking advantage of you and you pulled your shist together and took care of the problem with dignity. Now time to ponder why you would EVER consider being a partner with a person with substance abuse issues and who doesn’t contribute his share.
You did the best thing for you. Don’t twist it until it’s unrecognizable and into some picture of a facade of a man. Be done. Move forward with hope and belief of better things because you know your worth.
Lane
You were evolving into a “co-dependent”, and its good that you are getting out of it before it became far worse. I suggest you read up on it so you will understand what happened, the role you played, an how establish stronger boundaries moving forward. Learning these valuable lessons, and skills, will hopefully keep you from not only re-engaging in this toxic and dysfunctional patter, and recognizing the ‘the signs’ early so you don’t fall into this black hole again. Knowledge is power!
Andrea
He is leeching off you. He sees you don’t have enough self-respect to protect your own interests.
He’ll continue his behavior until you put a permanent stop to in it, or until you run out of resources–then he’ll be gone because you won’t have any more to give.
At this point, it doesn’t matter if he were to start pitching in. There is something wrong with a man’s character who will let a woman pay his way through life. He cannot be trusted or counted on.
Is this the best you think you can get?
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