Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Keeps Coming Back After Ghosting
- This topic has 11 replies and was last updated 5 years, 2 months ago by
Jenn.
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Jenn
What would make a man ghost you twice and come back both times? Now I’m not saying that I am going to let this guy back into my life again but i can’t help but wonder his reasoning. I feel like this time is different like he is actually here to sfay. It’s just a gut feeling. But I don’t want to get my hopes up.
Shoshannah
Typically, serial ghosters act like this: he’s with you and everything is fine, until some other girl catches his eye; then sometimes he might even manufacture an argument between you and him so that he has a justification for going poof; but then the other girl catches up on his game, so he comes back to you; if it’s not the first time, he will try harder to convince you and act like this time he is here to stay. so there you have his “reasoning” – his other “target” caught up on his bs or he may be just bored. of course, I don’t know you nor him, but you were asking about ghosters in general.
Khadija
Men will come and go in our life if we let them.
Most reason include: boredom, just got dumped, missing the sex, and very rarely is it to make things work.I hope we don’t see you back here in a few months complaining about his ghosting again.
The earth revolves around the sun
Shoshannah makes a lot of sense.
There was a guy who was going back and forth between me and my best friend. It pissed me off so much it turned me off and I lost any sexual attraction I had toward him and it changed into resentment.
If he keeps coming back its not ghosting. You’re just not high on the priority list.
Valerie
I have a serial ghoster who pops in and out of my life every week or two with crumbs. Its called intermittent reinforcement so you dont forget about them. He expects me to chase I think but I dont.
One time I totally ignored his texts/calls. Week later he does just a wee bit more by leaving candy on my doorstep, then saying nothing.
I used to really have feelings for this guy but I dont feel the same about him anymore. Discovered he likes massive amounts of female attention. So it’s not me he really likes, it’s the attention.
Not sure why he keeps persisting with me as I no longer show much interest or reach out.
Beware of the ghosters who come back. And they do – several times. They just like to know you are there.
Dont waste your time on this one!
K
Because you allow it. If you don’t entertain them, they go away. But a lot of times we find it flattering so we leave the door cracked for them hoping THIS time it’s for real. It rarely is.
Don’t be a sucker for this pathetic routine. This isn’t someone who’s serious about you.
Better off single
It’s like him putting a yummy doughnut in front of you and him saying “you know you want it fatty” and getting electricuted everytime you grab for it.
anon
It does not matter why, what matters is that ghosting is a garbage way to treat people. So why do you care about a guy who treats you like garbage?
That said, he needs attention from a woman, but has a lack of desire to commit to a woman, so he probably has a string of women that he rotates through for attention.
anon
Also, I’d ask him why he ghosts and let him know it’s a bad move that causes a lot of unnecessary hurt to others.
Lisa
Why?….because he’s bored/lonely and needs an ego boost, validation, and attention. He doesn’t care about you.
ResilientLotus
I had been seeing this guy for almost seven months and I had to deal with him getting pissy and immature, hanging up on me when I was making my statement and then ghosting me few times. Twice was enough to realize he was trying to test me to see how often he can play that game. First time I reached out and then few weeks later he pulled the same act and I completely gave him the silent treatment, my way of letting him know that if he is not invested in me or treats me like an option then I’m also going to treat him the same. He said I was arrogant and stubborn. Oh well! He made it easy for me to lose him without going through the hassle of me trying to breakup. Ghosting,hanging up and disrespecting your need to speak up is the is an act of a immature, inconsiderate control freak. Toss him to the curb.
Jenn
You have literally just described my entire situation. The ghosting, the hanging up on calls when trying to make a point, the playing the games. I feel like I’m always walking on egg shells around him, trying not to say or do anything to make him mad or upset with me. It sucks because I have real, deep feelings for him so it’s hard to just toss them aside because he’s an a****le but I know that’s what I have to do. There’s always a tiny bit inside of me trying to convince myself that maybe this time he’s here to stay. That maybe he’s realized how miserable he is without me.
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