Kissed on the first date…is that bad?

He is pretty free with touching on a first date. And you have every right to be suspicious of the second date – just don’t let him take you to his home. Tell him you don’t visit a man’s home just on a whim.

You needed to be upfront in your expectations up front – but you can still do it now, just expect he may feel he’s been played a bit.

Before you go out again tell him that you are not sure if he knows this about you but you want to be upfront – you don’t just do casual sex and you want to make sure he is aware of that about you. If he does not want to date you then you will understand.

OC,

What matters is what you’re comfortable with. I also wouldn’t like a guy touching me that much when I don’t even know him. Listen to yourself and trust that what you want is okay and doesn’t need to be measured up against some kind of standard in order to be okay or right. You say you weren’t really keen on him touching you the way he was–that’s all that matters. If a guy is touching you and you’re not keen, make sure to tell him. You can be nice about it if you like the guy—just smile, move away a little, and say you’re really not comfortable being touchy-feely until you get to know someone.

I agree the restaurant thing could be what you’re thinking–based on how much he was touching you (I think you’re putting things together even subconsciously to come to that conclusion, we do that and then try to reason our way out of our good instincts way too often.) I wouldn’t make a thing of it or bring up sex or what you will or won’t do, personally, I’d just have a nice dinner, if you like him let him kiss you good bye afterwards at the restaurant, and turn down any offer to go home with him or do something else after. Take it slow until you can see where he’s at. I would be very careful with him.

So for your questions:

1. if he kissed me on the first date, is it wrong to assume that he prob kisses everyone on the first date?

He probably kisses women he likes/wants to see again on the first date. There’s no reason to think you were some wild exception.

2. was his arm around back thing considered touchy, or am i just being prude?

You’re not being a prude. Not that it matters, you like what you like and are comfortable with what you’re comfortable with–don’t try to talk yourself into being someone you’re not.

3. Should i be upfront with him about me wanting to take things slow and not wanting to do anything until i get to know the person –or should i not say anything yet until he shows any ill intentions?

I don’t think there’s a need to make a declaration about it. Actions speak louder than words. He won’t listen to what you say, he’ll watch what you do. So don’t SAY it, just don’t do anything with him until you get to know him. If he’s making a move or getting too close in a way that you need to say something, then do it, but there’s no need to announce it unless you’re doing it in a specific situation. Which you won’t have to deal with if you’re not alone with him in his apartment…

Omg… It was a FIRST date? Do you always act this way? The vibe I’m getting isn’t good.

I don’t see he did anything wrong. Light touching is a sign of warmness for some people and it happens between like sexes and opposite sex.

Did he put his tongue down your throat? If it was a light kiss..was it against your will? Because you didn’t have to accept it?

Instead of analyzing everything, just enjoy it. And I would not dump on a guy during the first date how burned you were in online dating, etc. now that’s a lot of fun, isn’t it? No one wants to hear about your past relationships or negative things.

Regarding the restaurant, just go. If he asks to go to his place, say you don’t do that until you know the man better. No big deal Nd don’t be all drama about it. Calm firm boundaries will gain his respect. My boyfriend, now husband, took me to an Italian restaurant on date 3 near his home. He didn’t ask me TO his home. We didn’t have sex until the 6th date.

Try to chill. I don’t get the impression you really are into this guy..