Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › Ladies, please slap some sense into me
- This topic has 34 replies and was last updated 10 years, 3 months ago by
KiKi.
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Teresa
I will make this short. I got flirty with a childhood friend and friend of the family a few months ago. I live in TN and he lives in FL, but he came to see me a couple of times and yes, we had great sex. I got a little clingy and he pulled away. My reaction to that was to read him the riot act and delete him from Facebook. Fast forward a week later, I apologized for it and we decided to part as friends. Although, I have liked him for literally years and still do. The past few days he “likes” everything I post on FB. I also notice that every time I post something he logs in, so I know I am on his close friends list. Reading too much into this? This sounds so juvenile, I know. Maybe I am just reaching for anything, but he hasn’t liked anything I have posted in over a month.
Nel
There might be something there. However you cant go by that. People ike things for different reasons. Maybe ya posts made him laugh or he understood them so he liked them. Don’t take that as him liking you. if you really wanna know I’d say ask him but that is a risk since you finally got him back as a friend. If he likes you, hopefully he will tell you but for now. Play by ear. Kudos on the great sex though! :-)
Teresa
Lol, yesterday he “liked” something I posted two days ago. Wait for him to contact me or is he trying to get my attention?
penny
Like some of his post too and see how he reacts. Or since you parted friends i don’t see anything wrong with saying hi as long as you don’t expect anything but a friendly chit chat
Harley
Teresa…If he really wants you…he’ll get in touch. Fb….is childish. ..liking posts but not having the balls to say anything. I’ve been there. ..done that.. he’s letting you know he is still around. …BUT PUT ING NO REAL EFFORT IN ! Ignore it. Fb is fantasy. Wait for real life.
Teresa
So I decided to just say hi, have a good night. Which was of course, hurtfully ignored:( why all of a sudden all the likes, I will never understand. Plus, as I said he is a friend of the family and is visiting my cousins. My cousin calls me out of the blue last night, which was odd.
Harley
Hi Teresa, I really think you are over analysing this. The fact he did not REPLY to your message.. speaks volumes.
Lane
Hi Theresa.
You really need to “let go” and stop trying to control people. Sorry, but if someone isn’t interested in you there’s nothing you can do to force, convince or change their mind once its made up. You’re relentless pursuit of this man was and continues to be a HUGE turn off and if you can’t get your insecurities and neediness under control then you will remain single.
You have posted about this for over a month now and nothings changed. Just ACCEPT he doesn’t want to be with you and let him go. Really should put all your energy and focus on building up your self-esteem, self-worth and creating inner happiness because if you don’t have it then men won’t be inclined to get involved with you.
As to FB, its actually creepy and stalkish type behavior. Honestly, to keep track of who likes something I posted and when someone logs on doesn’t even cross my mind. This isn’t rational thinking IMO.
Teresa
Thanks Lane, thats what I meant when I asked you all to slap some sense into me lol.
Teresa
This is making me crazy, he just liked my status again. I am going to have to delete him.
Mistakes
The fact that you asked people to “slap some sense into you” shows that you already know the answer to the question…
Boys are cut and dry. He likes you. YOU will know loud and clear, in more than one way, time and time again. Otherwise, he is just wasting your time. He seems like an opportunist. If you need to cut him off to get off of this rollarcoaster, make an agreement with yourself that you won’t go back on your decision. Do yourself a favor and stop lurking on other people – it will ONLY cause you pain.
Teresa
So I’ve had NO contact with him for weeks, but he has commented on my fb posts. Last night he texted me “hi, I hope you are well” WTH with the mind games??
Rebecca
Does it have to be a mind-game if someone is begin friendly? You did decide to part as friends, right? Talking to each other, comments on posts, liking posts… all things friends do. It’s very likely he is just trying to be nice and he’s wishing you well. You reading too far into it is the part of playing with your own mind.
Bella
Sounds wishy washy to me… He didn’t reply to your last message. Don’t reply to his …
Teresa
Bella, he did reply, but two days after I sent it. He just said hey, I thought I replied, hope you are doing well. Just like his text. Am I reading into this too much? He is also a good friend if the family and I had literally just gotten off the phone with my cousin ( who asked me about him) when I got the text
Lane
Agree, this is not mind playing. He’s just trying to keep things simple and FRIENDLY so not to upset the boat where it comes to the family friendship. Don’t read anything into it because if you do then he will PULL BACK again or cut you out indefinitely.
He’s just testing the waters to see if its SAFE to communicate without you acting all crazy. As long as you don’t overstep the LINE he’s drawn in the sand and can accept his FRIENDSHIP then he will communicate once again, but if you revert back to your old ways he will cut you off. Personally, I think you need more TIME to end your obsession with him and should not be re-engaging if a simple “how are you doing” makes you feel this way.
Teresa
Should I respond to his text???? If so what should I say?
Lane
Just keep it SIMPLE. Tell him you’re doing well and leave it a that.
Teresa
Lane, I just responded, hey, doing great. What now? I kinda get the sence he’s trying to start things back up.
Lane
Theresa he is not trying to get you back or he would have said “I miss you terribly and apologize for acting the way I did can you forgive me?!?”
Trust me, when a man wants you back they will grovel, beg or plead and this man is doing no such thing—he’s only testing the waters to see if its SAFE to talk to you like a normal platonic friend would without you acting all crazy again.
Honestly I don’t think your mentally ready to re-engage due to the fact you’ve already conjured up these kind of thoughts based on a simple “how are you”. You need more time to get over this obsession with him so I highly recommend you do not engage or respond further or I fear you will go back to that very dark place again.
Care about your sanity more than you do him.
celesteannv
Teresa.. here comes the slap.. listen to the ladies here. Liking FB posts and replying to a text 2 days later is JUST friendly behavior.
If he wants to start back up he will pursue you.
Do not waste time reading into his behavior. Move on.. live your life.. meet others.
Do not make yourself crazy sboutvthis.Teresa
Okay to say hi just to see what he’s been up to or no? He just got back visiting my family at the lake. He texted me the other day just to say hi. Will I look like a psycho if I text?
Lane
No, do not engage again. You told him you were doing well and if he hasn’t responded then there’s no reason to text. Do not initiate texts because that’s chasing. Until you’re in a good mental place where he no longer takes up residence, I would maintain very minimal contact with short responses only if he initiates.
Teresa
Lane, You’re wrong. I went with my gut and we had a great conversation. He told me he missed me
Ali
I don’t understand girls that come to this site but then don’t follow the advice they get. Why bother asking if you’re just going to do what you want? I’m glad you proved lane “wrong”. I really do hope it works out for you but the ladies here just try to help. Since you were the one that caused things to end I’d proceed slowly with the contact and let him set the pace. Best of luck to you. Try to get ahold of your insecurities before things start back up again. Long distance is hard!
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