Ladies, please slap some sense into me

Just proceed with caution because I think Lane’s advice was really good. I am the type of person who much prefers to stay in contact and stay friends with someone, but it has really hit me hard before when a guy who broke up with me came around, being incredibly sweet and friendly and nice and we would have these amazing talks……and I would get my hopes up all over again that we were getting back together or that it was finally the start of something real…..when really they hadn’t changed their mind about a relationship at all, they just genuinely liked me as a friend and didn’t want to be the bad guy. But it took me MONTHS of heartbreaking confusion and uncertainty and obsessing about his so-called mixed signals to figure that out.

I think it’s great that you’re talking again if you can do it in a healthy way. But if you’re still holding out hopes for something more and he hasn’t said anything about changing his mind, I would be really careful and protective of your heart. It’s soooo easy to believe a guy has changed his mind or is about to when really he just wants to make sure things are friendly and amicable because he likes and respects you as a person and didn’t want to hurt you. But you deserve someone who COMPLETELY wants to be with you…….and says so…..if he continues the friendly calling and texting with no indication that he wants an actual relationship, I would just be really clear with yourself about what you actually want with him and make sure that you’re not settling for crumbs in the hopes that it will someday turn into something more. Unless he’s asked you to be his gf, I would definitely focus on dating other people. Long distance is hard enough in a committed relationship…..an undefined casual friendship can be heartbreaking unless you are completely sure you don’t want more. You deserve a completely satisfying relationship, I really hope you find it.

I had a similar experience and I ended everything because enough is enough. He went missing and then come back and then missing again. I told him to delete my number and leave me alone last year. He text me last month and I asked “who are u?”. He replied “sorry send message to wrong person”.

You deserve much better guy. Drop him and start looking for your happiness.

I have to chime in here.. He sounds like hes all over the place with his feelings. I would suggest staying friends with a man like this, and not pursue him for a relationship. You seem to have feelings for him, so I know its easier said than done, but he will be all over the place in a relationship with you too, and then it would be much harder to let go than it is right now. Millions of men out there. From what you have said, I have a feeling this guy just isnt the one for you. Just my two cent. :)

I think you remainful hopeful, but let him go as he has let you go. I wouldn’t trust the friendly as he probably just wants sex. You didn’t know him well enough to get klingy then fight and he was not yet securely attached to you to sustain staying around so he cut bait. Its over. Deleting him now hes on your FB is anger and hoping to get his attention. Ignore his ‘likes’ and don’t change anything except yourself. MOVE ON as hard as it is you must detach from this guy or its you thats the stalker. Good luck.

Hi

I can guarantee you that him coming back is only going to last a few weeks…you pursued him and he wasn’t ready…all that FB crap is just that…crap…you need to shut down and not contact him for 30 days to see what his intentions are, if you are looking for more than sex from him…it is too soon to be friends with this man…you are going to fall right back into the same pattern with him and he is going to disappear again…go on hiatus from FB for a while too…