Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Late on a coffee date
- This topic has 4 replies and was last updated 2 years, 9 months ago by
Eric Charles.
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Julie
Hi all,
Online dater here. If a guy is late on a coffee date, and he did say he will be half an hour late. He said he’s putting a bed together and taking longer than planned, shall I give him another chance. I did say I had to go somewhere after and arrange to meet up another time.
Do you think this is an excuse not to see me?
My cousin’s husband is always late for everything, but they’re completely happy. I don’t know if I should give him the benefit of the doubt.
Thanks
Julie
Liz Lemon
It’s off-putting (at least it would be to me), but I don’t think it’s an excuse not to see you. If he didn’t want to see you, he would have canceled & not rescheduled. I had guys do that to me when I was online dating. With this guy, maybe it was a one-off, or maybe he generally doesn’t manage his time well. You don’t know him so there’s no way to tell.
If you’d like to meet him, I’d go ahead with the rescheduled date, and see how it goes. If he does this a 2nd time, I wouldn’t bother rescheduling again– to me it would mean he’s either conflicted about meeting (so making up reasons to cancel), or he’s bad at managing his time. I wouldn’t want to date someone who manages their time so poorly. Remember he’s supposed to be trying to make a good impression on you.
Eric CharlesKeymasterYou’re asking the wrong question.
If he’s late… he’s late.
That’s what it means.
You don’t even know this guy, so you don’t know if maybe this is a guy who’s late to things and it’s not personal.
So for starters, this style of evaluation doesn’t serve you because… if your ultimate, most amazing perfect partner is someone who’s late, then you would happily be with them and work with it.
So it’s… irrelevant?
It begs the bigger question… what DO you think is important here?
How are you evaluating if a guy has partner potential?
You have to know what’s important for success if you want success. And if you’re bringing up a question like this, I’m wondering if that’s something you’re not clear on.
If you’re unclear on that, let’s talk about it because I think getting clarity there would transform your love life.
Julie
To be honest, I hate people being late for everything, not just dating.
I don’t mind communicating this with him, but if hes late on the second date, then I’m just gonna leave it.
Eric CharlesKeymasterFair enough. If lateness is a dealbreaker for you, then it’s good that you know that early on.
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