LDR BF broke up through email and I'm lost

He’s not emotionally immature, he just didn’t want to get into an endless emotional debating session with you, where you will tell him how wrong he is to think or feel the way he does, and he decided it wasn’t worth the energy to go through that break up process.

It sounds like the writing has been on the wall for quite awhile but you refused to read it. There is no such thing as a ‘perfect relationship.’ If its *perfect* then it is not a real relationship, its a fantasy relationship. Real relationship go through peaks and valleys, ups and downs, good and bad times where it ultimately depends on how well the parties work together, as a team, to get through them, that will ultimately determine a relationships longevity.

I believe he has been future faking it with you, for quite awhile, which is why it appeared *so perfect* to you. It sounds like he had nothing else going on his life, and you filled a void until he decided he no longer wanted what you have to offer, an LDR. People change, their priorities change, their careers change, their goals change, their needs and desires change and oftentimes the person they are with aren’t able to support them in the way they need to be supported. He could very well be craving physical closeness, maybe he met a local lady who is giving him what he needs that you are unable to offer him. That’s what I would assume since it was so abrupt, like the first time. Bet he’ll reach out again when it doesn’t work out…see the pattern here?

We’ve met 4x. Before covid he makes sure to come and see me every 4-5 months. Last December we decided to meet on a different country because our country’s border is both closed.

Yeah, I’m grieving and I wish I knew what went wrong. I feel like a garbage and losing all the self esteem/confidence in me. I was very honest to him I never cheated. I knew he was always honest to me too. He’s so unfair, I wish he should just tell me face to face that he found someone or he doesn’t love me anymore. I’ve always try to understand him even it hurts. I hate myself for not wanting to hate him. I love him wholeheartedly and it really hurts! He doesn’t care about how will I feel and just leave me hanging and vanished.

For God’s sake, this is a man you’ve only seen in person four times with months between visits. Nothing “went wrong.” These LDR things rarely work out.

Stop whining and stop being such a victim. If he told you to jump off a bridge and you did it and got hurt, who created that??

He was selling a bunch of crap… and you bought it. Over and over. Your self esteem and confidence are your responsibility. No one makes you feel bad about yourself without your permission and collusion!!!

This guy lives on the other side of the globe from you. The likelihood this was ever going to work out were almost zero. Find someone local. Stop chasing fantasies if you want to be happy and have a good relationship with a man. It’s your life. Start acting like it. Prince Charming isn’t going to rescue you and make everything perfect for you.

Agree with Lindy’s comments. It didn’t work out. The distance is likely why. Acceptance and not having a victim mindset are so important to all areas of life.

When you are breaking up with someone, you are responsible to communicate kindly. You are not responsible for explaining your decision until the other person likes, agrees with, or accepts it. Now, we can all debate what it means to “kindly” end a relationship, but the facts of the matter are, you live thousands of miles apart and went on 4 dates over 2 years. This wasn’t even a relationship. An email was sufficient.If you want to avoid this situation in the future, don’t date someone from a different country. And don’t trick yourself into thinking you are dating someone with whom you have virtually no face to face contact.

I believe if he told his side of the story it would likely be something quite different than what’s presented here.