Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › long distance boyfriend giving me the silent treatment
- This topic has 6 replies and was last updated 10 years, 4 months ago by
Tracey.
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Fiona
So me and my long distance bf had a fight yesterday. It was about one of his good female friend. I don’t like the way she talks to him so I talked to him about it, It went well at first, he asked me to not to take it the wrong way and that he will talk to her not to be like that anymore because I feel uncomfortable. I know he doesn’t have any feelings for her and that she has a boyfriend. However when he suddenly stopped replying me mid conversation I got really mad and called him twice and sent 2 angry message, he finally replied but really mad, he said his mom was in trouble and he was just taking care of her thats why he couldn’t reply. I apologized but he just stopped talking to me. and later i got mad and left him a really angry text message, basically saying that if he is still friends with her i will go flirt around with guys too. and thats the end of it. he never replied ever since that. I feel really bad but i don’t like how he is giving me the silent treatment. should i apologize?
Raven
If the tables were turned, would you want an apology?
Rachel
You honestly really need to chill. People get busy and sometimes they don’t respond in a timely manner. It happens. It sounds like you are being a super needy girlfriend when he needs a little consideration from you. Take a deep breath and calm down.
Harley
Hi… agree with Rachel. You sound completely irrational, over reacting and off the rails to me.. If I were the guy on the receiving end of your behaviour… I’d be out the door so fast, you ‘s se burn marks imprints of sneakers.
You .. seriously need to address your behaviour/insecurites and hopw you deal with siuations and TREAT people.
I’d apologise.. but do it in an adult way.. and seek to address how YOU react to things like this in future.
Sally
it might be too late to try and repair things. maybe you should just leave it be. use this as a good lesson, and look at why you got so angry. deal with that first, and the rest will come.
you will meet someone else, and you can be different in the next relationship. every day is a new day. we can all change for the better.
Talllady
I am sorry, but you sound like a teenager. Yes, you should apologize. My lord.
Why are you having these conversations by text? Adults have these conversations by phone or skype or in person.
Why are you telling a man who and who he can’t hang out with? Your comfort is your responsibility. Period. Especially if she has a boyfriend and is no threat. I never agree with women who limit how men interact with other women because either you feel safe with him or you don’t if, not dump.
You threatened to flirt? Wow. How is that working out for you?
Here is suggestion: Wait a day for tempers to calm. call him, like an adult and apologize for making a bad situation worse and own your part. Do not blame him for anything, and ask to create a safer way to have these conversations. Say something like… I have thought about our call and I want to apologize for a. Having a deep conversation by text and b. Reacting in a way that is not effective to growing our relationship. I know I should have no opinion on how you interact with your friend, but it is a source of insecurity for me. I will work on that because my insecurity is my responsibility.but I need tobe vulnerable and ask you to support me in that. Also, can we resolve to never have these conversations by text as they fly out of control and then we end up not talking, which feels really icky. What do you think?
Tracey
Yeah….you threatening to flirt was not a good idea. You basically told him that if he doesn’t stop dealing with a friend, who by your own admission has a boyfriend, that you would start flirting with other men. o_O This shows him that you would go through any lengths to get your way, even if you’re wrong. Your behavior screams NEEDY and guys run from that.
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