Long distance Relationship

Elle,

So you were dating a year long distance?

You talk about prioritizing love but neither of you were willing to move to be closer right?

I’m not excusing his behavior of not being able to put the computer away while you two are having a date night. Just trying to get a better picture.

Long distance relationships are not sustainable. People can’t live like that.

A “distance relationship”, whether long or not, is sustainable but you have to be a certain type of person in order for it to work. Heck, you can even be living together and hardly see each other based on one’s occupation, such as a surgeon, lawyer, pilot, military, emissary, etc. The one who ends up getting the short end of the ‘time stick’ has to be very independent, and not reliant on their partner as you have many other sources, such as work, friends/family, hobbies, passions, etc. to fill the time with. Distant relationships work best when both are too busy for a day-to-day relationship; are perfectly OK being alone and having lots of space; and not reliant on one person, such as a partner, for their success or happiness. They do exist, but they represent a very small percentage of the population, which is why majority of distant relationships fail.

The problem with your relationship is that it has regressed, not progressed, as it doesn’t appear as if any talks, or discussions, in relation to ‘closing the gap’ has taken place. Even if you did move to him, it sounds like he prioritizes work, and not able to find a good balance between work, and non-work time, which would have made you just as miserable, if not more so because now your with each other but just as distant, as you were, when there was distance. If a relationship is not working for you, its best to end it and find a compatible partner or you’ll just end up in a miserable relationship. Trust me, its far better being single and happy than being in a relationship and unhappy—been there, done that, will never ever do it again!