Long distance relationship is breaking me apart

My boyfriend went away to another country for an exchange program, and he asked me to take a break in our relationship, and the other day he posted a photo where he was hugging another girl. And I got really jealous but I can’t say anything to him because we’re on a break. I feel guilty for the break because we had a fight before he left. This is the thing. My brother, cousins, aunt and uncle moved away to other countries and it was really hard for me to adjust to that. And now, having my boyfriend leaving like that – I know it’s only for 7 months, but still – hurts me deeply. Also recently my favorite grandfather passed away due to cancer so it’s a really hard time for me. My brother came to visita with his girlfriend and they left a couple days ago and I feel sad. I hate goodbyes. And now, my boyfriend, – or ex – knowing all of that, still decides to take a break. We still text each other but it’s like I don’t know if he had sex or kissed another woman and I feel dirty. And sad because all of this.

It’s really hard. And not only this, we had a fight before he left, because I got grounded and I couldn’t see him the days before he would leave, and he got mad about that, and I told him that my parents are controlling and sometimes they bully me. And he saw that. So it’s embarrassing for me having parents like this, that ground me – for drinking alcohol- at 23 years old. Either way, I know I have to move out, so don’t comment “move out” all the time because I know I have to do just that. And I’m working on it.

But the thing is he got really mad because I just wouldn’t “escape” my house to see him, when in reality, if I did do that, that would be worse for me – my parents would kick me out of the house that’s how mad they got. They didn’t want me to drink and I did and they grounded me. And he was upset because it happened right before he left. And I feel kinda guilty because I drank alcohol knowing my parents would get mad at me, but I did it anyways. But it’s not my fault how they grounded me.

So, he knows my mom is very controlling, and he went away with all this information. I told him I wanted to leave my house – he was shocked – and I told him one of the reasons my brother moved away so far is because how overprotective my parents can be, and he said he imagined it. That he saw it coming.

So now I’m all alone. Is it justified for him to cheat on me while he’s away for everything that happened before he left? I try not to be so hard on myself and I always tell myself that it’s really hard to have family away and then having your boyfriend go away, and that also losing a family member to cancer ain’t easy so I have to be patient with myself for making mistakes.

Please give me advice :( My boyfriend still likes all my photos, he sends me memes sometimes, and we are still texting sometimes. But we are on a break and he posted a photo hugging another woman. And it broke my heart. It’s like he wants to have it all. But do I deserve it? I also cried and left early from his surprise farewell party, because it was too much for me to handle – and my grandpa had passed away just a week ago and I was a mess.