Home › Forums › Did He Lose Interest? › Lost Interest after a month dating
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Mistral
You have not been dating for long. SIX DATES DOES NOT A COMMITMENT MAKE!!!!
You are ASS U ME’ING way too much! You are basically making the same mistake 90 percent of women make. You are making him you ENTIRE REASON FOR LIVING…BAD IDEA.
Get your life and own passions and then you won’t be sitting around analyzing every single character of text he ever typed to you.
Either get your own life or stay miserable without love forever. Your choice.
tallady
who the hell knows we went to a movie with. We can’t tell you, and your imagination is running overtime. And he’s entitled to go with whoever he wants. it’s not progressing us one thing, & I suggest you give it another week or two. If it keeps taking a hard time to get together, then just fade out. If a man is not escalating within 4 to 6 weeks he is not going to. That just means being consistent in contact, and making consistent plans. Not everybody on the side agrees with that perspective, but I’ve never had a boyfriend who did not make his interest clear pretty quick say within 2 to 3 months. You’re at 2 months, and it seems still very very very very casual. I wouldn’t be waiting to wait it out without seeing other people too.
redcurleysue
I really don’t know why your head is in a tizzy about who he does what with…he is not your BF…at this point he is just some guy you have dated…period.
Wow you are waaaaaaaay ahead of everything and that will show up in your dealings with him. That will make him run…I would run if I dated someone 5 times and they wanted to know all the goings on in my life….I would wonder if they had a life.
See how this boomerangs back to bad things for you when you get way too involved too fast? I hope you do see it and stop and think…really think. Stop and help yourself…stop and do better than this…for now and your future…
Sensy
Just assume he likes you and do not allow yourself to get so invested. Stay busy with your friends, family and interests. You are You are allowing him to have too much importance in your life way too soon.
Sandra
Hey laden
There is an update so we ended up having a 6th great date after we havent seen each other for 3 weeks he then acted super sweet and affectionate and said things like its been way too long that we have seen each other and stuff like that. We did have an amazing 7th date as well where he told me he wants to see me at least twice a week and he wants me to meet his friends at his friends graduation next month. And I was super happy of course and said Yes. Then we had an 8th date and he told me he likes it that I dont put any pressure on him and that he can be himself and that I dont demand him to check in or ask about his whereabouts. We ended up scheduling a 9th date and guess what he didnt Text me the day before and so texted and he texted back late at Night saying he was sleeping all Evening.so in the morning of our date he cancelled cause he wasnt feeling well. I wished him to get better soon and he texted me later good Night and kisses. Now I havent heard from him for 2 dayS. so im left hurt and insecure again.
Thank you all for reading this.
Khadija
Hun, please stop counting dates and just enjoy things for whatever they will be.
Go and out and do your own thing.If he schedules another date great, if he doesn’t so be it. There is no need to sit around and be hurt by it.That’s the thing with dating at anytime a guy or the girl can decide they want to move on. Both parties need to be okay either way.
Work within you to be secure because men will do all kinds of things and if you attach your self esteem and worth to what they do, you’ll be in a world of hurt.
Take your power abck and don’t allow what someone else does to affect the way you are feeling. Easier said than done but, the point is it can be done.JR
Haha, why are you counting the dates? It sounds like you’re about to launch!!! 1,2,3, etc…
I don’t even know how many dates I”ve been on vs the months and seasons I’ve known my dude. Sorry, stop counting the dates, stop looking at the time/calendar. Stop, breathe. Like Sabrina and Eric say on the info they provide. STOP PLAYING EMOTIONAL DETECTIVE
Men come and go meaning they back off and come back again. It’s normal. It’s obvious he is dating others, as should you. He does not sound like he wants to settle down anytime soon. Keep your options open all the time, ask yourself how does this man really make me feel. Or am I in such a hurry to be in a relationship period, I don’t care who it is. If he’s swept you off your feet, already how? What has he done to win you?
Mistral
You want to the secret to finding and keeping true love forever, the Hollywood kind?
Really simple: Trust your intuition. If he causes you to cry, he’s not the right guy.
Find the one that makes you happy and forget all the stupid rules of how many dates before sleeping with him or how many footsteps in a minute he walks so he can be the right guy for you, or what kind of tie he wears…
If he’s the right guy, you won’t care if he is overweight, has messy hair, wears his pjs to the grocery store. And he won’t care if you stay in your pjs all day, have messy hair, are a total ditz that should be inflated to 40 lbs psi at least 3 times a week…he loves you because you are you.
Stop hiding behind fake masks.
Ivy
“he likes it that I dont put any pressure on him and that he can be himself and that I dont demand him to check in or ask about his whereabouts.”
If this is what he likes then you are not right for each other. This guy wants to do as he pleases and wants his freedom, you want more than that, you want him to want to spend a lot of time with you, you want him to call you often, you want him to never cancel or reschedule, some of this is ok to want — but he isn’t the guy to give you this, there is a man who will, this one won’t.
I think the hard part is that you are wanting more than this guy is giving. If you were cool with it then maybe it would work and be ok, but you are not cool with it and you won’t be able to pretend either, you just won’t be happy.
Maybe think if he really is the guy for you, does he make you feel happy with him and without?
Sandra
Thank you all for the responses.
I think I lost him for good. So after not hearing from him for three days I texted him if he is feeling better and he responded how I’m doing and what Ive been up to the past days. I told him I was studying for the bar and going to the beach and asked what he was up to. He didn’t respond. I don’t know why he is ignoring me now. It hurts.
I know that I’m totally needy and clingy but it’s so hard. When you meet someone who you have so much in common with and such amazing chemistry who is smart and really handsome you just fall for them. So I’m totally lost and when we are on a date it’s amazing and everything and that’s why I don’t get it that he is ignoring me now.
Phoebe
I don’t think you’re acting needy at all. Going weeks without seeing him, days without hearing from him, I just don’t think he’s that into you. If he was it would be on like Kong. Trust me you will meet other guys that you have stuff in common with. Other hotter guys, smarter guys, nicer guys.
Sensy
Don’t take it personally. You never know what his mindset was in the first place. You want a guy who makes your life better than it already is and sees you as the “one”.
Newbie
The thing about dating is that you want a guy to know your true self and vice versa. If you act all cool and not needy on the outside, but meanwhile you are counting dates, analyzing every text, the hours he didn’t respond are signs the inner feelings and outer signals you give are not in sinc. That makes you miserable and you don’t want that. You really need to be in a place that you don’t invest in a guy, just live in the moment, until you both feel that you are right for each other. It takes some practice but its really not that hard: you don’t need a guy to live your life, but some company would be nice.
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