Lost someone I care for deeply but it was my fault

Just this week I broke up with my boyfriend of about 6 months. Early on in our relationship, I cheated on him. I’m not going to go into detail or excuse myself. I take full responsibility. He found out the night of because I had forgotten I was sharing my location with him. We broke up for about 2 weeks with contact here and there. I was extremely remorseful over what I did because it was a meaningless one night stand and I, despite what some people may think, loved my boyfriend very much. I made the huge (and selfish) mistake of trying to get him back. And, in the end, we did. Being apart was hard for both of us because we had a really close relationship from the beginning.
Anyway, a month ago I moved out of the city we were dating in and I now live an hour away. We were both sad but I tried to be positive, saying that the distance could maybe do us some good because we were together A LOT.
Well, I was wrong. I started to become paranoid because I kept thinking he was going to cheat on me to get me back, and, I actually found messages on his phone the week I moved out (not anything sexual but he was initiating contact with other girls). And then it all fell apart. He became cold towards me in a way he had never been before, not apologizing for any of his wrongdoings, and basically saying I wasn’t allowed to have feelings because I cheated on him. I know, my behavior warrants his coldness but we actually were doing really well before I moved out. And at the flip of a switch he stopped caring like he used to. We used to talk about getting married, we looked at apartments together to move into, etc etc, even after I cheated. But it all went away.
I’m pretty upset. Of course, it’s all my fault we’re here in the first place. But like any normal person, I just miss the way he used to care for me. He taught me a lot about love that I never realized before, because I was never much of a romantic person. I miss that version of him, kind, sweet, soft, and patient. Our fights turned into him telling me to shut up and calling me a bitch. So, I broke up with him and it was pretty mutual. Which, he’s never actually wanted to break up with me for good until now. Everything has changed so much. We used to be each other’s rock and now I can barely get a reply from him. He never used to leave me hanging.
I’m hurting very badly. I know I was the one who ruined the relationship, should have let him go when I cheated, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have a strong connection that I’m going to miss deeply. Just need some advice to move on, and maybe how to be a better girlfriend in the future. Thanks