Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › Married Friend Flirting With Me
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tammy.
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Aisha
It seems like one of my male friends who I work with is flirting with me. For Christmas he surprised me with a present and I just thought he was being nice. He’s been calling me a nerd for a while now but after the present he started calling me a good looking nerd and kept saying at least your good looking. But I didn’t really say anything. We work in different departments and he’s been trying to offer me a job with him but lately he’s been saying you would look good in one of our uniforms and I was like maybe he’s just trying to be funny with telling me to apply for the job. Today we were talking and he randomly just said you look really good today and I was like okay. And I recently said I wanted to look for my own place and I think he mumbled can I come over. When I asked him what did he say he wouldn’t repeat it and I’ve caught him doing that a couple of times. It just seems like now he’s trying to find ways to tell me I look good and it’s kinda making me uncomfortable. But then sometimes I think maybe he’s just being nice. He’s married and he’s knows I’m not into being with married guys. I’ve said it repeatedly and he likes to joke and say I’m a good girl. But I just feel like he’s trying to flirt with me now. Idk if I should say something or not because I’m not sure if he’s just being nice.
Maddie
Are you really friends? Or just colleagues who chat at work when you cross paths because you’re polite? Try saying you appreciate the compliments but you think it’s unprofessional to discuss someone’s good looks in the workplace. And keep it all business from there. Don’t respond anymore when he brings up unprofessional topics (like whether or not you go for married guys… not appropriate workplace talk, none of his business.) Even if he’s “being nice” he sounds like a misogynist and not someone you will want to work with directly.
mama
You work with him and he’s continually calling out your looks. That’s technically harassment. The fact that he’s married just adds in the creepy factor.
I would give him ONE warning such as Maddie suggested, then if he doesn’t stop, go to HR.
It doesn’t matter if he’s “just being nice”, it’s not appropriate for the workplace, and not appropriate any place if he’s married. Maddie gave some good suggestions about putting up boundaries. You may think you’re being polite and nice, but you need to draw a line and make it very clear what’s acceptable behavior.
Raven
His ‘being nice’ is a bit lecherous…
Is he a supervisor in his department?
Sara
Married man playing, that’s all it is. Call it just being nice well no – commenting on your appearance is very unprofessional.
These guys sometimes get bored at work or at home and like their egos stroked. They say this nonsense in hopes you’ll be up to giving him this much desired attention. Don’t be flattered or encourage him at all.
There’s being nice and professional and then there’s being sleazy and sexual. Tell him up front his behavior is unacceptable.
Forget about him offering you a spot in his department. He’s looking for a toy dear. Have no part of it.
tammy
hes flirting with you and maybe wants more if your willing. whether your into married men or not i think is irrelevant to him. hes just luking for a fling. if i was in your place I would and the next time he comments on your looks you should tell him to stop that since your not comfortable with that.
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