Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Me and my gf is on a short break from each other. Should i text first?
- This topic has 7 replies and was last updated 4 years ago by
Lane.
-
AuthorPosts
-
Chris
Ok heres the thing. We have been together for nearly 3 months now. Everything was beautiful and good between us but shes the type who loves to take it really slow whereby i took it real fast. Shes not the person who easily expresses her feelings. But being with her for 3 months, many times she willingly said i love u, i missed u, im thinking of u. So i do know she loves me as well. We have done many things beautiful together including intimacy on bed.
This week, We both went on a short 1 week break cause she said she felt suffocating with all the overwhelming attentions ive bee giving everyday every now and then as i love to text her all the time and call her all the time. She just said to give some space to breathe. She wants to take things slow and steady. It was my mistake i took it real fast like a roller coaster. She said its not me but its just her. She wants me to take it real slow and smooth, not just jump into it. Now it has been 3 days since the break. I miss her though but should i text and say hi? Or i should just wait for a week? I messed it up real bad by choking her. Now it has been 3 days theres nothing between us, im sure shes a bit relaxed and calm now. Should i say hi and how are you? Or i missed you?
Lesley
You guys agreed to take a 1-week break and its wiser to stick to it. She is overwhelmed and needs space for herself. If you contact her now, it will just aggravate the situation.
Zoe
Wait a week or 10 days if you agreed on a week
Ss
Nooo! You agreed to a break for a week and texting her now is not respecting that boundary!
Honestly, from what you describe it sounds like she has lost interest because she experienced your attention as far too much. 3 months is very early for saying I love you etc
Chris
Ok guys, the thing is, if shes not into me, she wouldn’t have invited me to her house for Christmas and introduced everyone to me which usually she doesn’t bring anyone to her house except for her ex. Definitely she has some special feelings for me for bringing me into her family. I know its my bad i choked her with the feelings and love. But im glad i passed 3 days without bothering her at all. But yeah, i think i should just stick to the 1 week cooling off period as planned. Even though i feel so much to text her and say i miss her, but im afraid that might damage things further. Since it started on Monday, theres another 3 more days to go. Should i wait till she texts me or shall i text her after a week?
Anon
If you want her super interested in you wait at least a week or wait until she texts you. She knows you miss her- but you’re suffocating her as she said. Let the relationship breathe a bit by putting some space in it.
Elvira
Hi Chris, asking for a break after 3 months doesn’t sound too good. After this weeks break I would have a conversation with her on how you two can give each other more space (specifically you if you are the one overdoing it). You don’t want to have the fire burn out before the 6 month mark. You should really be enjoying each others company without overbearing the other. If she is complaining about feeling suffocated already then you are both on different levels and need to figure out how to meet in the middle. I personally do not like the 20+ text messages a day. If we speak/text a few times a day just to see what is for dinner or what are you doing tonight or did you get home safe…that is more than enough. Sending an I love you or I miss you if you haven’t seen each other in a few days is also nice. The guys who send me a book on text on what they are doing or thinking very minute of the day is a big turn off and comes off clingy.
Lane
Wait for her to respond first!
I say this because I’ve been in her position and needed to reel it back in because it was becoming “too much.” A relationship shouldn’t begin with too much togetherness as it can become smothering/suffocating and smother the flame out so to speak. I took these ‘breaks’ without telling the guy because I not only needed to rebalance my life and do other things with other people too as it contributes to one’s overall happiness. It also gave me the opportunity to see how much I missed them or not when apart. If I really missed them there was a chance, if not, it was a sign that my feelings weren’t strong enough to continue.
I don’t think saying I love you too soon is a bad thing. Its how you pace it and grow together overtime will ultimately determine if you’re a good match or not. If I were you I would take a ‘chill pill’ and learn how to be less smothering if you want this to work.
-
AuthorPosts
