meant to be going out tomorrow but no plan set

Do you actually have plans? If you do then be honest and say “sorry I already made plans, but I’m available on such and such.” If you don’t have plans then don’t lie and if you want to go out with him then go out with him.

When dating it becomes too easy to put your life on hold for a guy which is the worst attitude you can take. You should not be sitting by the phone or checking it every few minutes to see if he texted/called or you will drive yourself batty and go into crazy mode. You should really try to maintain a normal busy happy fulfilling life and treat him like a BONUS, not someone you rely on to fill your time and calendar up with or you will suffocate the relationship before it has a chance to begin.

Do you have friends, hobbies, activities that you like to do? If not, then you need to create them so you’re never reliant on a man for your happiness because that is not his responsibility.

As a side note: A man like to DO THINGS that makes you happy like take you out, help out or fix something, BUT its not his job to make you happy all the time, whereas you need to have other things going on in your life that makes you happy too—hope this makes sense.

Great! Glad to hear you have an active fulfilling life :-)

If it bothers you when he makes last minute plans its OK to discuss it with him, but only do it if you’ve already made them, such as “you should have called me a couple days ago as I already made plans.” What this does is tell him that if he wants to spend time with you he need to schedule them in advance. Sometimes they need reminding though, lol.

I did not like his answer. Sounded v immature. It would be a red flag for me.

The one thing you have to know about guys is: first, they are not mind readers; second they are singularly focused; and third, they have crappy memories.

In you earlier post you said he did not make specific plans with you so technically it was OPEN for either of you to do whatever you wanted. Your complaint was that he hadn’t yet, so you should have just found something else to do instead of relying on him for it.

I know this frustrates women and it appears like they don’t care, BUT they really think, act and operate opposite of us! They in most cases don’t INTENTIONALLY do it, they just literally “live in the moment” and if something comes up they will jump on it without even thinking about they said or told someone else earlier that day or a couple days ago. Additionally, guys need to be able to go out and have fun without you, which is why you need to have things going on in your life.

Waiting around for a guy to call and schedule something with you is not a good dating plan or formula, whereas until they “lock something down” with you, like the event on Thursday, you should always have or be making other plans. You’re coming off quite insecure here and if you keep pushing he will pull away.

I’m a female, but I was a tom boy and hung out with guys so I know how they think and operate so they don’t bug me as much. Heck, even GUYS get frustrated with GUYS because they bail, don’t show up or flake out! Last week the guy I’m seeing was suppose to meet up with one of his friends at a restaurant/bar, and when my guy called him asking where he was he responded “oh, I forgo, haven’t even taken a shower lets catch up another time.” It happens to them too, lol.

How long have you been dating? Are you exclusive? I don’t like the last minute planning and forgetfulness… That isn’t the sign of a man all that into you if you are in the early dating phase.

Why is he saying you have always been unsure. What behavior has made him think that of you?

We met in february! We see eachother 2 or 3 times a month only. He has flaked twice before by saying he is too tired or that he has work to do and each time i got upset, not accusing him but telling him that it makes me upset when that happens. This is the third time but this time he actually forgot about our date even though nothing was properly planned, and after i told him that i need time to think, he said that ive always been unsure… but that isn’t actually true tbh. He is flaky with all of his friends, and tries hard not to be flaky with me. I am really not sure what to do about this event now, i do want to go but clearly i’m not seen very highly in his eyes if this is the third time now… and it’s not like he tried to arrange another time to see me or anything.

Sorry, you posted before I did. It doesn’t seem like your very compatible or he’s putting much effort into it. The guy I’m dating works crazy hours, 6-7 days a week 8-10 hour days but even with this we see each other at least once to two times a week.

I have no problem filling my calendar up with things to do, so I’m not reliant on a man to do things with all the time, but only 2-3 times a months wouldn’t work for me if we were dating or even in a commitment. I think you need to be dating others guys too as I’m not so sure he’s someone you want to invest too much in.

Thank you for your advice, it’s opening my eyes. Yes, it’s only a couple of times a month that i see this guy. I am dating other men, the reason why i seem so available to him is because he doesn’t give me a chance to cancel, as our dates are always planned in advance such as this event, and nothing inbetween. So even though i am very busy, he doesn’t ever ask me out anyway except for those few occasions. I’m thinking of going to the event and then honestly breaking it off, or should i not go at all to the event?

Since he’s already bought the tickets and you agreed to go, it would be good manners to show up for it. Afterwards just say it was nice knowing you, but due to the little time and effort you’ve put in the past few months, I don’t think we should see each other again and wish him a good life.

Reading through previous posts and I am dying to know what happened with this guy lol ??? i am currently in this same situation…please update us !