Men: What they say vs Actions

Youre 21 – do you want to find yourself a husband or have some fun first?
For the the rules stem from the 50ies on how you secure yourself a husband and alimoney if it doesnt pan out. So i agree with you on that. Also you dont have to present a fake personality.
So i would go with the modern version, for example demonstrated in the book why men love b*tches. You live your life and dont need a man in it, unless if its meant to be.
In your case, this specific man to me is trying to get in your pants with fake future talk. No sane man claims youre it after 1 date. So according to the modern philosophy you must assume he talks out of his a/ss.

I have a bad feeling about his superspeed plus he will go away. But as long as you keep your wits together and not fall for a guy you barely know, you will be fine. Maybe he wants the gf experience before he leaves town

I agree with the others that this guy is moving way too fast. You’ve had 1 date and he says he wants something serious with you, and wants to introduce you to his parents and family? That’s excessive. Granted you have been communicating since February but still, you have only met in person once.

You say you’re flattered but something seems alarming– you should always listen to your gut in these cases!

Here’s how I see it. You’re 21 years old, presumably this guy is around the same age. You’re young. You have tons of dating and life experience ahead of you.

This guy is shipping off to the military in the fall. He has nothing to lose by pursuing you fast and hard now. He gets a summer romance out of it and then has a loyal girlfriend to lean on for moral/emotional support while he’s away in the military.

So I don’t think he’s just trying to get in your pants, or whatever. I think he wants to have a girlfriend, and then while he’s away, you’ll send him letters, care packages, phone calls etc. This doesn’t make him a bad guy, it’s a perfectly normal desire. The question is whether YOU want to be rushed into a relationship and then after a few months together be stuck in a LDR while he completes his training (how long would that be, 2 years? I’m not sure how it works). As opposed to being free and single and available to date, which is normal (desirable, even) at your age.

This is just my opinion, by the way. Obviously I have no idea what the guy is thinking. But it IS very unsettling that he’s rushing things the way he is. And the fact that you feel uncomfortable in your gut is the biggest indicator of all that something is amiss. You should trust your instinct.

Hi all, thank you for the advice. I am going to really try to go with my gut on this one. This entire week, we went from talking every night last week to nothing nada. I made a joke to him Tuesday that I did sorta miss the phone calls and he said he’s sorry he’s been tired lately, and said how about tomorrow, i said its no problem, and sure. Well now its Friday and only texts asking how i am, and a few good morning texts every now and then. No call. Not going to mention it ever again until he does. Not even further details on the gathering happening Saturday…what is he expecting? Me to show up Saturday all giddy and be excited when he has barely spoken to me all week? Let alone we had one date? Its all very confusing and I don’t want to put up with this and try to decode how he is feeling. Also it went from such high effort to such low effort on his end?? Extremely confusing signals.

So I am backing off, if he even mentions the parents again I will be saying its too fast. It sucks because I at least wanted to discuss it over the phone out of pure curiosity and maybe come to a consensus like adults and not discuss it over text the night before! Sorry I am annoyed. Thank you ladies for all your input.