Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Men who Send Selfies
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ChicagoGirl61
What gives?! The last 3 men I have dated have all sent me numerous selfies that I DID NOT ASK FOR! No, not those “selfies”, but actual facial selfies. Why do they do this?! I find it very weird and a major turnoff. I don’t need 2-3 selfies of you a week, I’m pretty sure I remember what you look like!
Anyone else experiencing this? It’s like they are fishing for compliments?
CC
Men are visual. They assume you are also visual.
Eden Somers
OMG I have had that happen too! I don’t know why…I mean, I like him and he likes me, but one night when we were texting, he sent me a selfie of him and said, “It’s a gift for you”. I’m like uhhhhh okay? I don’t really need this, I know what you look like…lol.
I guess they’re trying to be sweet, considerate and “leave their mark” on you ;) And I find it a little romantic too.
Lane
Woman do it too, so its not just a “guy thing” its just an easier way of taking pictures today and sending them. I remember having to stand a camera up on a dresser and then having to wait for them develop or using a “photo booth” lol.
Shanaya
Actually I find it nice, like a visual text to let you know what they are upto. There are times, I am working out/ with friends and I send out selfies just send the message ‘Hey! I’d like you to see how nice I am looking now. Also, I am having a nice time and wish you were here’. Maybe your guy thinks the same :)
Rose
It can become creepy when they are unrequested and one after another. I don’t mind one or two at the beginning but more than that screams insecurity to me.
I had a guy who would send me selfies of him with his cat, cooking, in bed, on his car,at the gym, a close up of his green eyes, some with his kids and so on. It was nuts but I fell for it in the end lol so… Maybe they’re just trying to sell a certain image.
I don’t like to send my pictures unless they ask for them but i’ll send one or two and with all my clothes on.
Eden Somers
@Lane Yeah, women do it too, but why do guys do it? For what?
Jams
Lol, I totally get you. I personally take it as the guy is trying to directly fish Fr a compliment. And I think that’s weird.. If it were a Snapchat or a picture of what he’s DOING then maybe I would understand, but when it’s via text and it’s a clear “I think I look good” picture I’m like okay…? lol
Someone mentioned it’s because men are visual and they may think women are the same? Could be. I just never know what to reply to that lol. And, might I add, it’s never from the normal, chill, relaxed guy.. in my experience, they come from the guy that ends up being creepy or annoying. I now take it as a warning haha.
Eden Somers
@Jams What if the guy only sends one selfie to you? And it’s a picture of him fully clothed, doing nothing (no flexing of muscles or anything), standing in front of the mirror?
Eden Somers
A guy sent me a selfie like that and told me it’s a gift to me lol.
ChicagoGirl61
Jams: I’m right there with you! All 3 of these men had MAJOR issues: insecurity, emotionally unavailable, jealousy, and controlling. I too take it that they are fishing for a compliment. I NEVER send any in return.
Karemm
I had received selfies from few men, just as an advance to ask me for mines.
But yes it is creepy if they send selfies for no reason.SthrnBelle
Creepy unless occasional and some time into the relationship, I never send them out either. It has never happened to me though that men sent them to me, well, I guess I came across some other types of weirdos in the past. I think the selfie senders are the in your face type of weirdos.:)))
Lenore
In the beginning when you are getting acquainted with one another is one thing (and I don’t mean 20 in a row but if you are sharing them mutually, ie. You send two, he sends two, etc). I’ve found that the men I am drawn to, it’s like I have to pull teeth for them to send me a selfie (I like alpha, manly men). Some would send them, some wouldn’t. But the guys who would send them unsolicited, would scream insecurity to me. The guy who has sent me the most wound up to be a sociopath (no joke).
Ashley
For guys to send selfies like that is a red flag. That’s more of a girl thing to do. Guys who do that have a big insecurity issue and usually end up being controlling. Guys I’ve dealt with who did that were psycho. Normal guys don’t do that haha they’d think it was weird & just wouldn’t do that
Ticky
Unsolicited selfies bother me. A lot.
Especially if it’s even slightly sexual. I was talking to someone on KiK for a couple of days and this guy sent pictures …and it wasn’t the same person on profile. Red flag. Then proceeds to send me a pic of his underwear with him it…and then pics of another girl he’s talking to lol
The guy is in 40s…extremely creepy and I’m happy I stuck my rule of not giving out my number right away.
Not the first time I’ve gotten junk pics, but I hate that with a passion. And I think guys do crap like that because somewhere out there it worked with someone, so they think it’s acceptable behavior. I would tend to want pics of someone if I’ve been dating them…not a couple of days into talking
DAR
If you have talked to a guy a few times and he sends a selfie he is lookinjg for recognition that you actually might like him. So he sends a selfie. If they do send a pic and you don’t find him appealing please don’t respond that he looks nice in anyway. that will only lead him into believing that you are actually interested and he will only continue sending more thinking he actually has a chance. Men really only send because they want to gauge whether the woman is actually into them and depending on the kind of pic he saids gauges how far he can push it with the woman. The further he goes the more he will expect in return. Don’t be fooled and think men are doing it just to be friends. We always have other motives behind what we do and we will tell you what we think you want to hear. If it doesn’t work we will move on to the next one. unless they have been your friend for awhile always believe their is interest whether it be for a relationship or for sex. So just be cautious when responding and don’t do anything that you will regret later or can possible hurt any future relationship you might have. This should go with anything you might do sexually during your life. If you have to hide it you probabaly shouldn’t be doing it. Always think things can come back to hurt you whether you think so or not. so always think if your willing to deal with any consequences that might arise later whether with someone or not before you respond to a guy. Believe me when someone cares about you and something you have done in the past can affect how they feel now. Maybe they get over it and realize its the past and they stay with you maybe they move on. Either way they never will truly forget what you have done at some point something will come up that reminds them of our mistakes. whether you think its a mistake or not. So just be smart and safe. Always take your time and make sure its worth responding back.
Maria
Younger guys do that a lot. I think it is almost normal these days.
Maybe he wants you to send him yours as well. Girls send a lot of selfies I hear.
But a “gift”..?? ewww..so full of himself..
Miss_Aspiring
I remember reading this thread! I will say that last year, I received an unsolicited selfie from a guy I’d been talking to from a dating site, prior to meeting, and it ruined his chances with me. Not because he sent the selfie, but because it showed his face more clearly than the other pics – and he was NOT as attractive as I’d thought.
I do think it’s an odd and somewhat narcissistic behavior for both men and women. It’s one thing to take a selfie with a partner or a group of friends, but another when you’re alone. I find people who do this often are both self-absorbed and insecure.
Im I crazy??
Ive been talking to a guy that I work with for three months now. Over the span of that time, he has sent me 34 selfies. (I counted them lol). I have only sent him one ( after he sent prob about 20 something.) never asked for them cause i think its just weird sending people random slefies. Lol. Am I crazy or is it weird.
Raven
It’s weird …
Leigh
Selfies is a sign of narcissistic behavior. They will always think of themselves. Red flag. They think they are the center of your universe right away. I now consider it 2 red flags. Let them go.
Ree
If you are in a relationship and he is overseas, i think this OK. This is the case with me. Still, he did send me some without his shirt but still had his shorts on. So I am assuming this falls in the normal range.
What’s it?
I am not sure I get a lot of selfies from a guy who is in the Navy we dated for a month before he shipped off for redeployment. He is now gone for a year.
He and I are always sexual with each other he sends me a selfie and I send one back.I think it’s narcissistic that he send dick pics.
Gross and narcissistic of him to do that. He will never tell me why.
I never send named pics only selfies if he wants one.I do act like I am busy with things to do and hobbies, he asks me what I am doing and if it’s like hanging out with a male friend I get a selfie in his military uniform sitting on what bed with a smerk like your mine remember.
Kinda of insecure of him to do this I hardly send responses back it shows me he wants to control me in some way. I also think maybe in his heart he misses me and loves me. I send a comment I wish you were here and I say I miss him and luv him with “luv” not love. It means to different things.
I met him off a dating site he was local and when he got deployed we were only with each other a month.
Dating it was basically sexual and casual now since he is away it’s basically he checks in like we are in a relationship , I asked him many times about being serious and he won’t so when I plan to date others he sends me a selfies to make me change my mind.
He is 27 and I am 38. So if that helps the age difference is the communication issue.Anyways Is it him telling me I love you and I will not let you go or I am yours and I can not make up my mind to further how i feel. Or is it him being selfish like the green eyed monster what’s mine is mine ordeal.
Any thing but that.Nina
Oh my god! I get turned off by that all the time! And the worst is when they send pictures of their feet!!! Naked feet!
I feel you girl -
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