Messy situation is there any light in the tunnel

Amanda – warning, people who are cheating on their partners sometimes get pretty harsh comments.

Your headline and what you’ve written don’t really match. What exactly are you asking and what do you expect us to tell you?? Messy situation. Yup. Light at the end of the tunnel?? Doesn’t make sense. Please clarify. And you’ve already stated you know this is wrong and you know you should break it off. Yup. Don’t mean to be snarky, but if all it takes for you to break your marriage vows is a sexy foreign accent… either address and resolve the issues in your marriage or end it so you can be free to date (single) men who are a better match than your husband is.

What on earth are you reading articles and statistics about??

“Is there any way to come out of this without causing pain” – uh, yes, just stop seeing him. You’re causing your own pain. Plus the two of you are harming your spouses, you’re harming your children and most of all you’re harming yourself by cheating and lying like this.

Hi is this for real ? It seems
A bit of a wind
Up tbh.

is actually very real and is over i guess, i am so upset at myself because i make a lot of effort to even talk to him and he seems to busy to even reply and yesterday he didnt return my phonecall I guess it was all in my mind thanks for the harsh comments made all the sense to me…now i just have to try to forgive myself….

*I meant to say, so that your husband can find a wife/partner who is faithful (and you can find a guy you won’t cheat on!)

Amanda, I agree with what Liz said too.

What’s almost most concerning is that you mention little to nothing about your husband or how you feel about your actions towards him.

What’s going on with you and your husband? You mention that your marriage is not the greatest or most healthy.

And you mention looking up stats, presumably to see what chance you have of things working out with the affair guy.

I could be wrong, but it sounds like you’re distracting yourself or trying to find an easy way out instead of facing up to and dealing with the real issue at hand – your marriage and relationship with your husband.

Even if you don’t do it for your husband or yourself, do it for your son. I know you don’t want to because it’s not easy or pain free, but in the long run, the alternative is far far worse than you could possibly imagine.

Look at what’s going on in your marriage and identify if it can be fixed or if it’s better if you’re apart. If you do this, your son has a chance to believe in and have a functional healthy happy relationship himself in the future. If you don’t, you just teach him how to attract pain and misery into his life.

I know it feels like being happy is impossible at the moment, and there’s no way out – but there is. You must be brave and strong and do the right thing no matter how hard it is. Especially when it’s hard.

You can do this. You deserve to be happy and have love in your life. But this can only happen if you do the right thing and give yourself a fighting chance.

Forget that affair dude. He’s likely getting real with his wife now. Also – well you read the stats, you can’t trust a guy that cheats with you etc etc. and once the excitement of the affair ceases, the relationship loses its steam too. You probably won’t even fancy him or like living with him in the real world.

You can’t run away or hide from your marriage forever. Well you can try, but ultimately you’re just guaranteeing yourself more pain and hurt and misery and unbearable pain.

If you address and try to fix the marriage (assuming it can be) you get to have love and joy in your life again.

If you leave the marriage, yes it will be tough in the beginning, but you get to have freedom and then a clean clear space to date whoever comes along and have a real chance at new love and joy in your life.

Please don’t cheat yourself. You deserve way more and better than this. Only you can give it to yourself.

Yes, what Rubi said! 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Amanda, it’s time to wake up and face what you know needs dealing with. You must have known deep down on some level that when you came to post here, this is the message everyone would give you.

I know you can do it. You don’t want to, but I know you can. It’s the only alway to make the awful feelings go away for good and come out of this without causing pain.

We believe in you. Be strong Amanda. You were strong enough to bring your son into this world and you care about him, and you can do this too.