Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › Met a guy at the gym. Exchanged #s now nothing??
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Liz Lemon.
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Jaslene
Hi,
Met a cute guy at my gym. He caught my eye when I saw him checking me out in the mirror. Anyway a few months went by, and I finally got up enough courage. Anyway I needed help I asked him, he was super sweet. 30 mins later I finish my workout and leave, I’ve seen him workout for months. He wasn’t finished with his routine. We also go opposite ways home, he walked out looked at me walked towards me then quickly turned around. I just walked up asked his name he walked with me. Asked if he was single he said yes then asked for number. Did the thing where he called then, I teased about his phone he asked if it was dealer breaker. Seemed like he was interested.So we didn’t text much that night. The next time.I saw him I just said hi, I’m on my way out just wanted to say hello. Asked if he was feee this weekend. He said he was doing some house hunting, and would text me to setup a time to get drinks. I never got another text from him. I did text him good luck and no response. I never sent another message
This is where it gets weird. I haven’t seen him again and it’s been weeks! It probably has nothing to do with me but I’m feeling low.. did I do something wrong? Should I text him again idk..
Sophia
Nah babe, I don’t think you did anything wrong. But these things I would rarely count on leading anywhere. People see someone they find attractive and if it’s mutual, they swap numbers or snapchats (whatever). In the heat of the moment, you probably sparked his interest by coming up to him and asking if he was single. However, you gotta understand these feelings are fleeting and might have disappeared the moment he left the gym, or on the walk back to his car (lol). No one can say why he didn’t go through with the plans for drinks, but bottom line is, he never texted you back which means he is not interested. To him, you were just a random girl at the gym he found kind of cute, but nothing significant happened for him to actually pursue it. You didn’t do anything wrong, but you also should take the clue and not text him. Onto the next one!
Liz Lemon
Sophia is right, you did nothing wrong, but he’s not interested. He may have felt awkward saying no when you asked for his number. He may have changed his mind. Who knows. Don’t text again, just let it be.
Also, as for not seeing him again– he probably changed his workout routine to avoid you, I’m sorry to say. I had the same thing happen to me years ago– a guy at the gym unexpectedly asked me out, it was totally out of the blue and caught me off guard. He was nice enough but we’d only ever said hello, and I had no interest in him. In my case I turned him down gently but felt so awkward I switched up my routine to avoid him.
If you saw this guy at the gym for months & he’s suddenly disappeared, that’s probably what happened. All the more reason to leave him alone & not text.
Jaslene
Oddly, I saw him the very next day. And to be clear, I asked if he was single. He asked for my number once he said that he was. He did text me later that day.
But I am feeling like he should’ve just been direct. If he wasn’t interested it wouldn’t have left me feeling like an idiot. But maybe I’m the weirdo for being considerate of others feelings. I’m assuming he isn’t interested so the number is deleted but I do wish he would’ve said something
Liz Lemon
To be fair, it’s really, really awkward to tell someone to their face that you’re not interested. Would you really feel better if this guy told you to your face that he changed his mind & isn’t interested? You got the message from his lack of follow up.
This guy may have been caught off guard and acting on autopilot when he asked for your number. Once he had some time to think, he may have realized he wasn’t interested. And I too went back to the gym a couple times in my situation but felt so awkward when I was there that I changed my schedule. So he may have felt weird only after seeing you.
None of this matters, though! The only takeaway from this is that he’s not interested & you should let it be. He’s not rude or a liar either. He’s just not interested.
alyssa
Liz is right here and so is Sophia. He was probably caught off guard when you approached his number so he gave you his number because why not, right? But in the end, he decided not to do anything about it. I get your confusion about the drinks part, but really, he doesn’t owe it to you to be direct about anything. It’s also probably because nothing even started between you guys, so he didn’t feel the need to ‘be direct’ or reject you. Don’t think too much about him and take care!
Zoe
He is not interested, that is why you never walk up to a guy like that. Because he gave you his number out of politeness. When a guy walks up to you and ask for your number you know he is interested for sure and you not wasting your time with a guy who is not interested in you romantically
tammy
i think its ok that you took the initiative. but hes shown by his actions or rather lack thereof thats hes not interested. no harm done. just delete his number and forget him.
Liz Lemon
Exactly. When you approach someone for their number or for a date, you always run the risk of being disappointed. And in the case where the person doesn’t know you at all (seeing someone every day at the gym doesn’t count), it’s most likely it will fall through. From what you’re saying, you saw this guy all the time but never spoke or interacted much. You asked him for help once. That’s not a meaningful interaction. So the chances to him actually agreeing to a date were very slim. Nothing wrong with asking! You just have to move on.
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