Home › Forums › Decoding His Signals / How Does He Feel About Me? › Mixed Signals
- This topic has 3 replies and was last updated 4 years, 9 months ago by
Lynnesha Hamilton.
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Leah
I started seeing this guy a little over 2 months ago. We hit it off and after a couple of dates he asked if we could be exclusive. We were going out about 2-3 times/week and then he got the flu and was working a crazy work schedule. About 2.5 weeks went by before we went out on a date with texting being the main form of communication. We went to dinner and to watch a band perform and he verbalized that he had a great time. Another week goes by with just texting and when the weekend rolled around we hadn’t made any plans, so I invited him to hang out at my house on a Friday night. He said he might get out after his sisters kids leave, but then later sent a text saying he dozed off. The next night he text me complaining about not wanting to go to a birthday party he was invited to, so I invited him to come have drinks with me and some friends if he needed an escape from the party. He acted like he would come by afterwards, but I never heard from him and the next day he never said anything about it. When he does text me he acts like he is still interested, but his actions just don’t seem to reflect it. I don’t know if i should just go with the flow or confront him about it since we’ve only been dating for less than 3 months. I haven’t dated in over 10 years and I don’t think he has dated anyone in quite some time so I don’t know if he is just clueless or trying to distance himself. Men say we are confusing, but I beg to differ.
kaye
You’ve only been seeing each other 2 months. He asked to be exclusive after only 2 dates. You were seeing each other 2-3 times/week in the beginning until he got the flu and started having a crazy work schedule. Then you start going weeks without seeing each other and when the weekend is coming up he’s not making plans with you. YOU are the one initiating and he’s not taking you up on the offers and he’s not inviting you to parties he’s going to either. This doesn’t seem to be moving in the right direction. Instead of moving forward with a relationship, being included in his life, spending more time together…yours is actually going in the opposite direction. Absolutely if a man isn’t making plans to see you his interest is diminishing. In the early months you should be so into each other you just can’t get enough of each other and want to see each other all the time. It’s called the honeymoon period. If a guy is giving you mixed messages during this time it’s cause for concern. You can either confront him and ask why he’s not making plans or pull WAY back and let him do all the initiating. Let him do the texting, calling, making plans, etc. You just sit back and watch his actions.
Lane
Never get into the drivers seat until you have a fully established relationship!
What I mean by this is that feelings change and its very common for this to occur int he first few months of dating when the chemical rush (hormones) start tapering off and you start losing interest. Its like buying a new car. You love the new smell and excitement of driving your new shiny car but but after driving it for a month or two it loses that new car smell and aren’t as as excited as you were when you drove it off the lot. Same concept.
This is a common case of “infatuation” which starts off as a thrill but in a short time that thrill dies and you no longer want continue. If you are young, which it sounds like, you are most likely going to go through this experience until you find a man who is still excited to spend time with you at 6+ months as he was on your first few dates. That’s when you know a man is in love and not a case of infatuation.
Lynnesha Hamilton
I actually just recently went through the same thing, we were hot and heavy for 2.5 months and then by month 3 he had started slowly checking out, and now looking for excuses to break up with me. I concluded by watching my NEW MODE Videos that he had commitment issues and possibly fear. But we had established the monogamy and he wanted to go back to the beginning so now i’m not so sure of that either. In the end we took 2 weeks apart and its not 3 weeks apart we mutual agreed our situation was becoming complicated and space is needed on both our parts because it was mixing caring with resentment for not being able to spend time. I’m starting to think the monogamy was just me never him. I’m now desperately trying to move on.
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