Most Awful Break-up & HIS ex got involved…

Please help me…I’m really struggling.

My boyfriend broke up with me a few days ago. I was devastated but we had been arguing a lot for a week straight so I knew it was coming to an end. Admittedly I had pleaded with him initially but he blocked me on everything.

I leant him quite a large sum of money when we were together which he has been promising to pay back for months. So when he blocked me, out of desperation I messaged his mum and sister, I didn’t mention anything to them except getting the money back and if they could pass on a message about my money otherwise I would consider legal action.

I have texts mentioning the money. However, the initial texts about the loan have gone as he broke my phone a couple months ago. I’m devastated the relationship is over, even though I know it was abusive, physically and emotionally. I’m more devastated I doubt I will get my money back, I can’t live with the guilt. I don’t think I can afford court fees and because initial texts have gone I don’t think I stand any chance.

On top of all this, my ex has 2 children with a woman. After 2 days of breaking up, I had multiple messages on social media from his ex asking me to call. When I did, she asked me was I pregnant. She did admit she had jumped to a conclusion as my ex had rang her and told her I was being crazy and she instantly thought I was pregnant.She said she was worried if i was because he can’t look after his own children now. I found this strange as I’ve never met her and why after a year is she involved in my relationship when she never been involved before.

On the phone, I told her about the money as I was desperate and I knew she had contact for the kids sake. She was nice and said she would let him know. We spoke abit as she’d asked had he hit me. Which he had multiple times, it felt good to get it off my chest and talk to her who had experienced similar. She also said that they slept together last year, I don’t know if we were together at that point but my mind is running wild. My ex would tell me things like when he went to see her he would sleep on the sofa and he never wants to get back with her as they had a turbulent relationship regardless of the 2 children. But she told me different. I don’t know if it was before we were together but I’m convinced some of it must have been during too.

My head is running wild. To top it all off, I had one last chance to contact my ex. I sent a message to him saying I know he cheated on me and that apparently he had been lying to me. And that his ex had reached out to me, not the other way round because I didn’t want to seem even more crazy. He initially blocked me, then unblocked and called me. He was angry as his kids mother had lied to him, she said I reached out to her. He then called me later to say she was angry as I’d ‘exposed’ her. I said this was beyond crazy now and I have no idea why she was involved it wasn’t normal. The last thing she said on the phone to me was ‘he tells me he’s saving up and wants to settle down in the future and that he told you that’. He once said in the argument that he’d go back to his kids mum. But when we were good, numerous times, he told me he would never get back with her, she did him wrong a long time ago. He talked about a future with me and me moving in with him.

My heart hurts and my head is confused. It’s become one big mess. When we broke up I pleaded like an idiot because I was in love. But it would’ve been easier getting over him if his ex didn’t get involved, now I don’t know if I’ve been living a lie. When he said he loved me during our relationship, I truly believed him..but did he? Is his ex playing games? She got involved in our breakup, but she only found out about me once we split? The last thing she said was that I should change my number, never talk to him again and that he should’ve been spending time seeing his daughter and not me? I can’t help but think she’s jealous..but at the same time she said she didn’t want him back as they had tried multiple times before to make it work. I don’t really know and I never will.

I know I’m better than this. It’s crazy how much drama I’ve become involved in unwillingly. I know deep down he was no good: he was controlling; he had beat me several times; he stole my money; he’d broke things of mine like my phone and jewellery and most of all he always made me out to be the bad one.

I’m so broken. So hurt. I can’t sleep because it’s all I think about. I hate that he probably thinks that I’m crazy, I don’t know what lies she’s been telling him. And I know I’ve not done wrong in this. I’m baffled as id never spoken to her before we ended. I’ve been betrayed, I don’t know if I’ve been lied to and I don’t think I’ll get my money back.

The guilt and regret is like no other. I’ve never been in a mess like this before what do I do?