Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Moving out and moving on
- This topic has 5 replies and was last updated 3 years, 10 months ago by
Donna.
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Nicole
Basically I’m here for emotional support today.
I’m finally moving out of the home I share with my now ex boyfriend tomorrow. It was a long and dangerous road and I would have been gone earlier if it wasn’t for covid 19 and losing my job. But now im back on my feet and able to leave. This man has emotionally, physically, and financially abused me. He blames it all on me that I’m abusive and controlling. When the only things I’ve ever asked out of him was to drink less, stop doing cocaine, and to pay me back for all the money I put out.
I’m recieved that I am moving on with my life and will be safe. I’m struggling today with sadness. I’m sad that my relationship is ending and upset that he has already created dating profiles and talking to new women. Although he consistently tells me they are only a distraction to help him with his hurt and he just wants to be on a break. There is no break I am done with his lies I just haven’t told him that in fear of how he will react.
I dont want to care about him, but why do I? He always made fun of my weight and how I’m bigger than the girls he typically dates. He would call me a far **** all the time or fat Nicole in front of people.. I found out the girls he is going after recently are much larger than me. And it makes me upset that he calls these girls beautiful and that he “likes them thicc”.
Raven
Good for you moving forward from this creep!
AngieBaby
Nicole, I’m so glad to hear you are finally taking care of yourself and putting yourself first and getting out of a bad, dangerous situation.
I”m sorry to hear you are hurting so much. You care about him out of habit and because at one time things were good enough for you to get together with him. You care about him because right now you don’t value yourself enough to be 100% glad to be rid of someone who abuses you like this in so many ways.
There’s a lot of good material to read on A New Mode that will help you and also I recommend Baggage Reclaim by Natalie Lue.
Hugs. Lean on your friends right now.
AngieBaby
Let yourself grieve this loss. It’s OK to feel sad. You will feel less sad when you’re out and he’s far behind you and you realize what you are worth and what you truly deserve, which is a good man who cherishes you.
Maddie
“I dont want to care about him, but why do I?”
This is totally normally… when someone is abusive you can form a trauma bond. You get conditioned to it and can feel like you’re in a fog until you get enough distance.
It’s so hard to leave. Seriously, GOOD FOR YOU for taking the steps and getting out safely. It’s the beginning of a happier path :)
Donna
Girl I just left one of these relationships. You have to remain strong and don’t look back. He will try to drag you back whenever he is lonely and not getting attention but don’t fall for it. Men like this are pathetic they prey on the kindness of others. Focus on rebuilding who you are. Have fun with friends maybe some rebound sex. But don’t let another man into your heart and into your wallet until you are healed. Im not fully there yet but I’m working each day to get back to the woman I was before.
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