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This be is a long one , pardon me
Been seeing my boyfriend for about a year now , we dated when we were much younger , broke up , became friends again for one year , had a friends with benefits situation for about 6 months and I ended it and we didn’t talk for months and then he said he was ready to be in a relationship and now we are dating . I’m 28 and he’s also 28
I needed assistance financially recently and it’s making me realize he may not like or want to do things to help me out financially.
To be clear , I’m a very independent person , I take care of all my bills and stuff and I mostly never ask him or anyone for anything about money .
When we go out on dates , it’s either he pays or I pay .He lives with his older brother who is married so I only go over to his house when his brother and his brothers wife are not in town ,which is rarely , So we mostly stay at my house, sometimes he’s at my place for two to four days a week and I never had an issue with it . So back to my problem
First time was when my microwave got spoilt while he was at my place and he said he’ll stop by the store and get me a new one , I reminded him twice within a couple of weeks until I just went ahead and replaced it myself .
Next , I wanted to get a car , which I already paid for and I was waiting to have it shipped into the country where I live , unfortunately the government increased import duty before the car got here , so I was in a bit of tight spot as I did not plan for the extra expenses , I was telling him about it and he volunteered to give me half of the extra money I needed and he promised to give it to me at the end of the month when he got paid , fast forward 2 months later just a week before I needed the cash , he tells me he wouldn’t be able to help me with the money and I would have to sort it out myself . Which I did and we moved past that .
About 2 months later , I needed to change most of the appliances in my apartment unexpectedly , I talked to him about it and he agreed that I needed to change them and where I live these things are not cheap and they’re not appliances I can live without .
But I had only some free cash left , as I had just bought my car and restocked a lot of products for my business , I had enough money to buy most of the appliances expect one . so I asked my boyfriend if he could help me with a very small part of the money I needed to buy the last one and he said a friend was owing him that exact amount of money and I would have to wait until his friend pays him back (which is in the next 1 month ) before he can help me out and from past experiences , I most likely will never get it, also I wouldn’t even need it anymore by then . And I think he said that because he knows I would have sorted it out myself by then .Ive been with him when friends would randomly call to ask for a loan and within minutes he had sent it to them .
I have always felt like I come second behind everyone else in his life , even with the dates , when we just started dating he would not take me out on dates , I complained and had to break up with him for a couple of weeks , then he promised to make more of an effort ,which he did and we got back together again .
There have also been other instances where he has frowned at me asking him to pay for something, example,he would always say he doesn’t like my short wigs and he prefers my longer wigs , so I tell him the price of the longer wigs he says he prefers and jokingly asked him to buy one for me since he likes me wearing longer wigs and he says “oh no it’s too expensive , I can’t pay that for a wig “.
Even though I make my own money , I still want to feel like a man is making some effort to care for me , I don’t need him to be financially responsible for me of course but it’ll be nice to help out when I really need it ( I expect this because I would also be willing to do this for him )
I just can’t help but feel a bit angry with him.
Coupled with other things that are not working in the relationship(that I was willing to overlook ) , I’ve been wondering if this is a relationship I should continue? What would you do ?
