My boyfriend is very busy and I am feeling off about our relationship

How long have you guys been together?
You get to a point in a relationship where its OK to come over and watch netflix while he does his laundry… generally you are at this point when you say things like “I want to marry you”. Unless you are in early, early stages, 2 weeks without seeing you seems unreasonable as long as you aren’t expecting a fancy date. Heck a guy once extended our second date by taking me to lunch then Costco so he could grocery shop.

Also, not communicating with you on work trips is off. My ex worked out of town a lot, and early on, he’d call each night. He worked 14 hour days and found time to call and say hello.

I think you need to let him know that you need better communication and to see him, or you need to move on. He seems like he is slacking… and needs to step it up. Which takes you working out what is reasonable.

It sounds like u r afraid to be straightforward, like u r afraid of losing him. Losing what? The GUY should be afraid to push you to another man’s hands by his absense. Why not to tell him that you are tired to miss him and this rare-see arrangement really sucks. Listen what he says back. The one who loves you, would tell how he sees distance closing. If no action/feedback, you know he doesn’t care really and time to let go.

Hi-He SAYS that he loves you etc.-but his actions do not back that up.. A guy , even, especially a busy guy in love, would at least keep in touch by a few texts a day or a call every couple days,so that you would not feel hurt and neglected and he would not risk losing you. He would also reassure with firm dates that he can get together etc.
He is too busy for a relationship OR he is not making YOU SPECIFICALLY a priority because he is losing interest,not that invested etc.
I would tell him that you can’t go on this way. That he either commits to having a couple times a week to get together and regular contact-or you are gone.

He does usually talk to me regularly. This weekend on his business trip was an exception. He claims he was busy and barely looked at his phone, but then also claimed he didn’t want to disturb me, since I was having quality time with my family.

Usually we talk everyday on the 0hone, we snapchat and text a lot.

I usually call him every morning on my way to work. And on the way home and he calls me before bed.

Last night he told me he was sleeping in, so I said I wouldn’t call him. He agreed.

I don’t know, I just get this pit in my stomach telling me something isn’t quite right.

I know he isn’t cheating at all. But I just don’t feel important.

But then he will come around this weekend and treat me like a princess and it’ll be amazing for a few weeks. Maybe even a month. And then this happens all over again.

How old is he and is he accomplishing a lot with all that work? Is he getting promoted or buying a house? Does he have debts? Is he educated, or a laborer? Is he deeply honest? Is he generous? Is he interested in evolving as a person and raising children some day, ? Does he have goals?

Honestly you need a new man or just speak with him. Five weeks without seeing him makes no sense. Only you know the real story here but if you feel he isn’t making time for you than he isn’t. This is a waste of your time.

He is 28 and I am 26.

I dont understand why a lot of women are so proud of a guys job and promotions etc. Its just work you get paid to do. If i would go gushing to my guy how great he is at work, he would think im making fun of him. Yeah a guy likes to be a provider but to me you only appreciate it, if you are actually his wife/or established long term partner. He works hard but for now he is just doing that for himself. Stop aitong this guy so much and work on your own career. That will be a better long term provider for you than a guy who wants you to cook and clean

I do have a solid steong career that I worked hard for. I provide for myself, am very independent and proud. I have told him that even if we were marroed I would pay my bills myself and want to work even if we have children.

I think its time to move on because nothing has changed.

People make time for what’s really important no excuses.

We all have careers and busy lives and one hour away is not that far.

If he wanted to find a solution to this he would have already, if you want to sit around a keep complaining by all means.

Its a shame that you are wasting time on a guy who isn’t willing to commit to you.

he may be doing well in life and his career. he may also be a nice guy. but the question isn’t that here. it is whether he is as invested in this relationship as u are. from your posts, it looks as if your the one whos pushing and pushing and appear way more invested than him. it also appears that deep down you have already sensed that hes not that into things, hence that insecurity and fear of losing is making you go all out and obsess more. things look quite lopsided in this relationship. I think by always being around and bending over backwards he might have started taking things and you for granted.

I think you should take a deep breath, think things through and take a step back. let him for a change chase you, make plans and fret and do all the running.. sit back and don’t take the initiative and then evaluate. he may be a great catch but if hes not stepping up then there is nothing you can really do is there?

the thing in your case is to do less. and let him to do more for a change. you will know whats happening and where you stand and how serious he is soon enough. stop the chasing please and stop being so pushy.

“He says he sees this going long term (marriage) and he says things about wanting me to move with him someday and live hours and hours away near his family. I fear this, because I would be alone a lot if he is working like this”

This is exactly what would happen. You would be alone, looking after the house, kids, his comfort, and yourself. While he would be “working”. Going to work and doing what is required there I much easier than all you’d be doing, in isolation, far away from your people

If he hints at marriage then he needs to treat you differently. Especially if he has what you call “traditional values”. He is taking you for granted, your life is already not pleasant, and you are frustrated already. While you can do much better.

Stop asking for his majesty’s time. If he is a manly man then let him figure out how to keep a woman. You can’t expect to have a GF and neglect her.

2 weeks, 5 weeks without wanting to see you (in reality he is ok not to see you, otherwise he’d be making time!!) is already the case, then what would be later on?

You are a 26 year old woman who wants to settle down, this is your prime time, do not waste it on a man who is not a good match for you. Understand he can be a good man overall. But not a good match for YOU. He neglects you already. You can still find a good man with a good job who would also be making efforts for YOU. Who neglects his GF for weeks at a time?? Bizarre.