My boyfriend is very busy and I am feeling off about our relationship

You could have continued the texting relationship (not a real relationship), but you ended it, good for you! It will sting for a little while, but you will fine within a coupe weeks. The pain you are feeling is more about you than about him. I would be careful from now on selecting a partner and watch out for unavailable ones. That speaks more about you than him. I would sit with those thoughts and think why you are more comfortable attaching to someone who is clearly distant. And see how you feel dating someone, who is actually interested.

Yunni, your feelings match mine. That is why I am sticking to the no contact. No matter how hard I want to break it.

My only qualm is then if he wanted space, why the next morning text to me? Saying good morning. Why not go cold turkey? Like I did.

All that value talk is just a bunch of bs. Any guy that respects and loves his woman will stay in touch. Not talking a few days doesnt raise any value.
I think this is all fresh and you need time to sort out your feelings. He blindsighted you with his sweet talk. I hope he stays away but he probably will contact you and its up to you if you want to hang out more with mr too busy or recognize your true value lies in not falling for breadcrumbs.
I mean honestly, what guy forgets to wish his girl a happy new year?
You said in your first post, you are so anxious and that showing. I wish you all the best in reconnecting with the independent woman you were 5 months ago

I think the next day’s good morning means him missing you (not necessarily in a living way), didn’t truly want to let go of u yet, or seeking for attention. Anyway, his feelings at that moment were strong enough for him to reach out. Remember I said he was selfish. So he operated based on his feelings, he wouldn’t care what that good morning meant to you. So maybe you do not need to think too much abyout it.

I actually don’t think we can truly rely on his words or behaviors. Just how much he showed he loved you before could turn into him saying “I guess” “I will move”, who knows how he’d change his mind and words in the future.

I am not saying to show that you have high value by holding yourself from talking to him, I am saying to not lose more value by giving in and calling him. If you lose more value in his eyes now, it doesn’t do you any good. But if you manage to be that woman who is his best option, meaning he cannot find anyone better than u, then? You think he’d want to let you go?

I believe he took u for granted because you presented itself so low. You are strong enough to stay without him, at least for a while.

But yeah, I also think if you can have other options, then go for it, no need to worry about his feelings at all. The more you care, then less he cares about you.

Part of me wants to give in right now. We could be possibly spending time together right now. He has days off and I think they are right now. I want him in my life.

This is a very painful thread to read! I don’t know if anyone or anything could get through to you. You just WANT and want and want with zero semblance of reality. I am not trying to be harsh — I just want to be real with you. If ever there was a ‘shake your shoulders’ moment when someone is trying to dislodge some sense into your brain — it’s right now.

Why are you choosing not to live in reality?
Do you not want a REAL authentic life?

The pain you are feeling is because the construct of a man that you built up in your head is not who this man really is. Please accept who he has shown you to be. Get ANGRY that anyone would think you were not intelligent enough to move on from such treatment.

You keep referring to him taking you to his work and window-apartment shopping and lunch. But this same man doesn’t take you home to meet his family yet? And if he already had fixed plans, this same man who goes to visit his family alone sends you I love you wishes for a hot minute, then goes completely distant and cold towards the new year? THEN when he has an opportunity to see you — he chooses to spend it alone — making NO plan to see you? THEN he IGNORES, flat out ignores your affectionate texts on new year day and THEN when asked directly (what your GUT was telling you already) he admitted he WOULD BREAK UP. He in affect — did break up.

Don’t you see? He is a selfish dude. He’s willing to put you through all this, while also throw you a good morning crumb to see if you are down to engage with him even after his behavior. IF he reaches out — it will only be because he wants to use you as a placeholder.

He has given you a gift really. If you will have it.
This situation is the universes opportunity for you to adopt a radical self love program for 2019. To never put up with kind of behavior. You were not pushy asking him if he would break up. You were listening to YOU and he is the one who had brought up serious subjects beforehand, so it was appropriate. I wish you courage in listening to the realest part of you now. You know what he is. Grieve it, move on and be stronger. We all wish that for you.

I would try taking a big step back (such as not contacting or pestering him) and see what happens. If he’s telling the truth he will reach out to you when he’s had time to breathe. If you don’t hear from him at all, he’s lost all interest and it’s time for you to move forward with your life. Also, don’t wait around for him! Go out and live your life, whether you’re with him or not! It’s ok to have friends and hobbies outside of your relationship!

Let me tell you my story, my last boyfriend did the same. He texted me after we argued (of course over something similar like your situation) and I didn’t answer him for 5 days, in those 5 days he didn’t send me anymore messages either called me. I finally gave in, I texted him. You know what I got? Nothing. He said nothing to me, made me feel like shi’t and so regret that I had sent that message to try to make it up to him even after he did the bad things to me. I told myself I will only wait for about a week, if he doesn’t contact me back, I’ll move on. After a week of waiting and of course still nothing from him I went out and met other people, found my current boyfriend now. And that ex, after 2 MONTHS finally contacted me, but it’s too late! I have already moved on and feel happy that he didn’t contact me so I had a chance to give myself a chance to look for someone better. My message for you is, maybe if you don’t give up on this relationship you don’t know what is waiting for you out there. One day in the future you will be thankful that you let this bad relationship go, because your new relationship will be better since you have learned from the past and you’ll make a wiser decision for yourself.

Gudevening guys,pls i have a problem to share with you people.my boyfriend is an engineer,he dont have time for me,what i get everyday is,mummy am busy with work,you know my work is stressful,as if i dont work,we dont hang out,we dont crack jokes,we dont play together as friends do play together.Honestly,am just tired of the relationship.As for love,i love him deeply.I cant just emerging my life without him.for how many months now,he does’nt call me and i miss him so much.pls what should i do about it?Pls i need the reply now.thanks.

@WaltzForRosee… You’re settling.

If you want any chance of this guy valuing you and treating you right, you need to let him know that his lack of effort is for the birds and that you deserve better and that you are moving on…and move on. If he loves you, he will work hard to get you back, but make certain, it is a permanent change (make him feel the pain from losing you.).