My Boyfriend Kissed Another Girl

So I have been dating this guy for about a month now. Just a little background, he’s 28 and I’m 25 and we met thru mutual friends. I would say I am a relationship kind of girl and I’ve been in a lot of great relationships, but I don’t know that I’ve truly felt as strong of a connection with someone as I do with this guy, and he tells me the same. We just get each other completely and we’re never bored around each other. We are just a great match. Before me, he never really dated anyone seriously. He’s known among all of our friends and people who know him as the life of the party. He likes to party (so do I) and get drunk and he’s never really been interested in a GF, although tons of girls chase him. I know he’s had pasts with a lot of girls, but never committed to them, and in turn has broken a lot of hearts of girls that wanted more. So within 2 weeks of us hanging out, he asked me to be his GF. And this rltp has been different than a lot of my others because I never have to wonder with him. I’m never analyzing or waiting by the phone or feeling anxious. I am so comfortable with him and our rltp and confident in how he feels. It’s just right. So even though I knew he was a party guy with a scandalous past, and even though all of our friends warned me that I should be cautious given his past (those same friends said they have never ever seen him like this with a girl), I was confident enough in my feelings to go for it. And it’s been great….

Until this past weekend. All of our friends (about 12 guys and then me and one other girl who happens to be my best friend) went on a trip to this island where all everyone does is party. Now since i have known this guy, I haven’t seen him party too hard. We go out sometimes, but we mostly enjoy staying in and just relaxing, which is another thing everyone says is so rare for him. But i have heard stories and knew that he would be drinking a lot on this trip, as would i, so i was prepared. Anyway, he ended up taking it to another level. He was by far the drunkest person there and when we were all out, he ended up kissing another girl and i saw it. i freaked out, and since i was drunk too, decided to start kissing other random guys. I know thats not a mature way to handle it, but i was so hurt and wanted him to hurt too. So then he ended up bringing a girl back to the condo we were all staying at!!! It was his aunts friend who had no place to stay so he offered her a spare room (in which he didnt sleep) but he did tell me they kissed in the cab. And i told him i also kissed a ton of guys. Regardless, when i got back to the condo, he was basically unconscious he was so intoxicated i had to pour water on him to wake him up. it was awful. He ended up finally coming to his senses and kind of freaked out, apologizing over and over and just telling me he’s never experienced this kind of relationship before where hes been the happiest hes ever been, that he cant imagine life without me and that he can’t lose me. he just said hes ashamed of himself and he knows this is a wake up call to him and that if i give him a second chance he’ll prove himself to me. And initially i said absolutely not and that i’m 100% done, but then the next night we were on the island (during the day we went to the pool bars and both of us were acting like fools again) we stayed in while all our friends went out and we just talked a lot about everything and how happy we have been and how much we care for each other. And then the final day there we were pretty inseparable and he just spent the whole day just professing his feelings for me and telling me how much he cares and how he will prove to me every day that he can make me happy. that this is the reality check he needed and he knows he has changes to make and he will make them for me and for himself. And assured me nothing like this will ever happen again bc he cant handle ever making me or himself feel that way again. He was very convincing and seemingly genuine, so eventually i caved and said i would give it a chance but that i am very skeptical and cautious.

So that’s where we stand now. I still get sick to my stomach thinking about the situation, but i believe in second chances. i cheated before (in a diff relationship) and i know that i will never ever do it again because i could never handle that kind of guilt knowing how badly i hurt someone. and i was given a second chance. But i have also been in a similar situation as this where i gave the guy another chance and ended up hurt, so i am just very worried. he says we have to take it one day at a time and eventually i will see that he can restore the trust in me . it’s just that we have so many fun trips planned with all our friends and its hard for me to even be excited because i’m just scared he will black out and not be conscious about his actions. I have found in the last few days I am nagging him a lot and coming across insecure, and although he is very reassuring and patient and understanding with me (as he should be) i fear i am pushing him away. when were sober, i trust him 100%, i just am so scared that the alcohol will make him into a different person and i’ll have to go thru this all over again.

i guess my question is, how do i handle this kind of situation? i’ve already decided to give him another chance, bc i know how much unhappier i would be without him, but despite that, how should i behave from this point on?