Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › My boyfriend masturbate instead of asking for sex.
- This topic has 4 replies and was last updated 3 years, 6 months ago by
Lucy.
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Lucy
Hi all,
Can anyone advise why my boyfriend would prefer masturbating over having sex with me?
It started about 4 nights ago. I’ve been noticing him staying behind around the time we usually go to bed. He now wears headphone to watch videos quietly on his phone and I know for sure it is porn because one night i went in the kitchen to get water and he was there covered under a blanket and one hand on his private – underneath the covers of course. He seemed startled but pretended nothing was happening and I also pretended I didn’t notice anything. My further proof is when I did laundry I noticed sperm in his boxers. This evening as I type this he just came in the bedroom to check if I was asleep, he grabbed his headphone and went on the couch. It wouldn’t have been a big deal to me if we were having sex.
Also I keep up with myself healthily and try my best to remain desirable. We’re both 28 years old. I don’t understand why he won’t ask for sex but rather have these urges 4 nights in a row.
I plan on asking him about it but thought I’d get a quick advice from you all first.
Sophia
Hmmmm.
How long have you been dating and how long have you been having sex?Lucy
Dating 3 years, been having sex ever since. In the beginning almost daily, gradually I would say 3 times a week. These past 2 weeks none. I have initiated in the first week but he didn’t seem into it as he was really tired even fell asleep early. This week I’ve been seeing him masturbating and have been observing.
And he doesn’t just do a quick one, he takes his time with it. He would come to bed at 4am sometime. And he’s doing it every night now.
Sophia
You need to ask him if something has changed.
I did have this happen with one boyfriend for about two weeks when he was SO stressed out about a project deadline.
To him, sexual release made him feel better, but he didn’t feel like having sex because he couldn’t be present enough with me, kissing, cuddling, etc.
So I gave him his two week whack off physical release. The evening he came home after presenting that afternoon. . . I jumped him!!
Porn’s been off ever since (unless I turn it on! 😂)
Lucy
Thank you for your tip Sophia. Last night he initiated and we had sex. Nothing seems different. I’ve decided not to ask him about all the masturbation this time however if it reoccurs at another time daily like recently then I’m asking.
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