My boyfriend never tells me I'm pretty

He is who he is…
Can You live with someone who doesn’t compliment you?

Hi Sara – Yes, we all have insecurities and sometimes it’s really a struggle to deal with it but it’s our own responsibility on how we will handle it. If you’ll always expect other people (ie. your boyfriend) to fill that void for you then you will never be genuinely happy. Relationships aren’t just about how your partner tells you how beautiful you are, it’s deeper than that. Why do you think it’s really important for you to hear his validation?

@April: you are absolutely right in what you’re saying. That why I said I feel okay with myself out of my relationship, it’s only with him that I start to feel insecure about it. Doesn’t everyone want to feel like their partner finds them attractive? :)

I think great advice has been given above (except of Stephen’s). One thing that I can add – there are different ways, other than hearing explicit compliments, to know that your partner finds you attractive. how he looks at you, how he can’t keep his hands off of you, how he shows you off to his friends etc. if he isn’t great with verbal compliments, maybe you can find some validation there? my partner doesn’t compliment me very often either, but he really doesn’t have to, he’s so obvious anyway.

What is wrong with my comment? I clearly expect too much reading between the lines from readers here. If men never receive compliments from women or anyone then they don’t feel the need to compliment women.

It sounds like “admiration” which ego driven is more important to you. It’s usually an underlying childhood NEED that everyone pay attention to us; see how important or better we are in order to feel special. If you know your “pretty” as you’ve heard it often enough from others, then why do you really need the validation from him?

If your his GF then he’s ATTRACTED to you!

There will always be ‘trade-offs’ where you may not get one, such as admiration but he’s more financial stable than the others which I would take any day v. a “your pretty” affirmation—so aren’t a billion other woman on this earth! Just trying to put it into context.

How is he OVERALL? Respectful? Trustworthy? Loyal? Goal driven? Have his life together?

My partner didn’t start complimenting my appearance on regular bases until he was ready he all in love, be in love and love me ‘forever’. Now he says it all the time. He did always compliment my personality and achievements though.

BTW Stephen, I compliment my bf more than he me because I came from a family that believes in positive reinforcement so it comes naturally for me, having had parents who complimented me often, a family where the person who made dinner was thanked and complimented for it every single day. My bf didn’t come from a very vocal family so he doesn’t do it as often as I do. I love telling him he looks sexy. Tbh, I really wish you would either get therapy if you’re serious about all this stuff that falls out of your mouth or get a new hobby.

He wouldn’t be woth you if he didn’t think you were sexy and pretty. My husband rarely complimented me when we first got together but he showed me he loved me every day.

Once he felt more secure, he started telling me. I was stunned! He told me all his sexual fantasies were only about me, he couldn’t watch porn any more because he had no interest looking at a woman who wasn’t me and I was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. He went from 0-100 in about 3 months but it took him ages to get there.

There’s a saying…still waters run deep. Which means some people look calm and don’t say much, but sometimes tjey are the people with the most sincere feelings.

What you have to do is decide if you need the talk. Some people do you you’re not going to get it from him.