My boyfriend struggles in bed but won’t talk about it – what do I do?

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 6 months, and were are officially together. We go on dates weekly, and we’ve met each other’s parents. When we became official, we had sex, but I quickly realised he struggles to get it up and isn’t pleasuring me. The encounters feel like quickies, and he seems too ashamed or afraid to open up about it.

I suggested counselling, but he refuses. I’ve dated men who only wanted sex, and now I’ve found a great guy, but our sex life is frustrating. I know there’s no perfect relationship, but should I carry on this relationship if we’re not having sex? I prefer slow and intimate, while he rushes through it. It’s not passionate. Whenever I try to communicate, he just shrugs it off.

At 41, he’s 42, I know what I want in a relationship and in bed, I value communication, commitment and compromise, but to every man is emotionally mature or confident enough to discuss and improve these things. I understand men communicate differently through actions, which he’s shown me in a relationship, but there’s no action in the bedroom in my case. I mean I would love to have a passionate sex life. I mean I’ve had a lot of men who are good in bed but arseholes in real life but this guy is a nice guy. I know relationships aren’t perfect but I want a man to be emotionally intelligent and open up. He has shown me his vulnerable side as his parents are getting divorced and he’s not talking to his cousin. I reciprocated talking about my family. Right now, we’re not having sex until we figure this out. I said something like. I’m enjoying our relationship at the moment but I’m feeling a bit frustrated with our intimacy, and I think we could work on it together. He says yes but no action. We have experimented in the bedroom btw.

I mean the question is am I willing to wait another month or two hoping he’ll change and work this out? How do I approach this situation? Should I keep trying to communicate, or is this a red flag for our future together? Is sex really that important?

Thanks